A Root and Growl
by JuliennePotato
Summary: One objective: Bring Commander Root back from the brink of death. Simple, right? Only problem is, they're three and a half years too late. But death's never stopped Artemis Fowl before, so why start now? Complete.
1. Just Like Old Times

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note:** I found Colfer's world too interesting not to have a play in it myself. Sadly, I've played in it to the point where I've attempted to emulate him. You might like it, you might want me shot. Unfortunately, neither of us can know (And I'd really like to. Kevlar is quite restricting) until you've read it, so on with the show!

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It had been three and a half years since Holly Short had stepped foot into the LEPrecon headquarters as Captain, and three years since she had been in Haven at all.

Of course, to her it felt like - it was - only days since she had been nearly killed by a multimixer, and complaining about the level of publicity she had received for doing what had been, at the time, her job. But just the reactions of the general public - or, more accurately, the lack of reaction - showed the length of time she had been away better than any calendar could.

Haven had remained the same bustling metropolis it always was, but to Holly the city was entirely different. She hadn't walked down one of the main roads unmolested for almost ten years (Not counting the time shift, where she hadn't been bothered walking through the city because of the simple matter that she wasn't there), but now she was free to stroll down to the LEP main building, in her civilian clothes and a growing-out buzz cut without so much has the barest insult to her person.

She hated it.

This was the reason why she burst through onto Recon's floor, and, sparing very little energy on 'hellos' to the colleagues that had, until yesterday, believed she was dead, walked straight into the Commander's office. Had it been anyone other than Holly, and the person sat behind the desk been anyone other than Trouble Kelp, it would have been an arrestable offence. As it was, Trouble looked up from the crystal screen, saw the diminutive elf framed in the doorway and stood up so fast he lost his balance and fell over again.

"Holly." He said, standing up more sedately and covering his embarrassment well by rearranging the arrest warrants that littered his desk. "Miss. Short, I mean. How are you?"

Holly smiled. Trouble's promotion from Major to Commander had followed Ark Sool's abrupt and unceremonious departure from the LEP, and not a moment too soon. Sool had been planning to entirely remove the Eighth Family of fairies. Genocide. It was only by calling in all his influential friends and every favour he was owed that helped him to avoid Howler's Peak, the Goblin prison. Trouble was the first choice as his replacement, or, as Holly saw it, Commander Root's replacement. And it was this fact that had led her to downtown Haven in the evening rush.

"I'm well, Commander." She sat down in the chair offered to her.

Trouble smiled. "Commander. It took some getting used to. Even now, he's left some pretty big shoes to fill."

Holly nodded, an unlooked-for lump rising in her throat. After a few moments' awkwardness, Trouble spoke again.

"Is there any reason why you came down? Not that you're not welcome - I'm sure everyone would love to see you again, it's just I have to sign these arrest warrants, otherwise a lot of guilty goblins are going to be free to barbeque more unfortunate dwarves."

She took a deep breath. "I've come to ask for my old job back. Please." She added as an afterthought.

Trouble set down his digi-pen and blinked several times. When he finally spoke, his voice was wavering and thin, most unlike his usual confident self. "Holly...I don't know if I can just reinstate an officer. Especially not one who's been presumed dead for the last three years. I thought you had Mulch and your P.I. firm?"

Holly snorted. "What with Doodah, it's starting to feel a bit too much like a Deeps ex-con reunion for my liking. I want to have some authority again, not make stupid citizen's arrests on dodgy vole curry vendors."

Trouble hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his eyes. "You're a good officer, Holly. One of the best in fact. I'll...I'll pull a few strings, let you back in on a probationary basis. You'll have to take a fair few refresher courses before you get your Captaincy back, though. Foaly's been working like stink upgrading the weaponry, and you're not exactly up to date on the latest gang wars."

Holly beamed, hopping out of her chair and skirting round the desk to kiss Trouble on the cheek. "When do I start?"

"As soon as possible. Tomorrow, if you like." A rather flushed Commander replied. "Go see Foaly. He'll fill you in on the basics."

And with that, newly reinstated Corporal Holly Short left the Commander to his paperwork, striding out of his office with decidedly more spring in her step than before.

The LEP's tech wizard, Foaly, a paranoid Centaur whose closest relationship was with his own computer-generated image, had a room situated one floor down from Recon's base. In actuality, 'room' was putting it lightly. 'Steel death-trap' was closer to the truth. Foaly had more defensive weapons in that 10x10 cube than the entire LEP had in the rest of the building. If an unauthorised fairy set so much as a toe inside the cube, they would be blasted right between the pointy ears. Or fried on the plasma floors. It depended on what mood the centaur was in at the time.

Of course, Holly undermined all of the Centaur's defences by walking in through the front door.

A tin-foil hat with eyes popped up from underneath the belly of a disembowelled computer.

"I was wondering when I'd see you around here again." He stated, setting down his screwdriver to clop over to his elfin friend. "I was almost starting to miss the sarcasm."

Holly beamed at him. "It's nice to know I've been missed."

He whinnied slightly. "I said almost."

"I hear you've been upgrading the weapons? Commander Kelp told me you could fill me in on the basics."

Foaly was halfway to the weapons rack on the other side of the cube when the full impact of her sentence hit him. He turned around; not an easy job for a quadruped in a room full of gadgets. "He accepted you back? Just like that?"

She winked at him. "Must be my charming personality."

He turned back to the weapons rack. "Or the fact he has a crush the size of a bull troll on you." He muttered. To Holly's face, he thrust up a small gun, with a moulded handgrip and several different colours of slightly sparking plasma in its polymer chambers.

"Done away with the Neutrinos. Kept a few of the basic design features - ease the transition, but it fires a completely different type of slug. Four settings, ranging from an unpleasant tingling to enough juice to boil a medium-sized lake. Plasma charges, regulator and several safety innovations, but being the Recon jock you are I won't bother explaining those."

Holly picked up the gun by the handle, staring at it with cross-eyed apprehension. "What're we calling it?"

"At the moment, its official name is a plain old Plasmablaster, but the boys in the locker room have already come up with their own nickname: Slimespinner."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Anything else I should know?"

"Nothing major. Section eight helmets are becoming more popular, but I assume you remember how they work...a few shuttle adjustments, same with the wings...other than that, it's just like old times."

But Holly had stopped listening. She had walked over to the weapons rack, and was examining an old gun which was hooked to one of the hangers by the trigger. On the bottom of the moulded handgrip, a tiny plaque read 'Julius Root, Commander'. She stroked it lightly, leaving a trail of fingerprints on the bronze surface.

"Just like old times," she repeated. "I wish."

Fowl Manor, Ireland, 5 a.m

Artemis was pacing. There was nothing unusual in the boy's nervous habit, unless you knew that the child in question had only been nervous twice in his fourteen years. His age itself was also a mystery, as, having been missing for almost three years, he should be approaching his eighteenth birthday. As it was, he was barely any different - aside from superficial injuries - than the last time anyone saw him alive. 

His newly-useful bodyguard, Butler, was pretending to watch the security footage from cameras dotted around the Manor, in order to give his young charge some privacy. Inwardly, however, the giant Eurasian was marvelling at the change: or more accurately, lack of it. It was true that Butler himself was no stranger to almost inexplicable time fluctuations. A lucky bullet in an upmarket fish restaurant a few years ago had seen to that. Only the quick thinking of his principal, and the magical ability of a certain Elfin Captain had kept him from death, but it had cost him the remainder of his youth. But this was on an entirely different scale. In the three years Artemis had been gone, he'd become a big brother. How strange it must feel to be gone from the world less than two hours, and to return to find that everyone you know and love has moved on.

Artemis was counting his paces. Not aloud, but letting the rhythm of the pacing and the numbers fill his head and distract him from the much bigger issue. He was about to meet his baby siblings for the first time. Brothers, Butler had told him. It looked as though his mother was consigned to being outnumbered gender wise in the Fowl household.

His Mother...guilt was eating away in the corners of his mind, like hungry moths to a priceless tapestry. Although he had never intended to leave his family for so long, he could not deny that he had. And after the toll the disappearance of his Father had taken on his Mother's sanity, Artemis Junior had never wanted to put her through the same heartache with her son, but, unwittingly, he had.

A sleek black car crunched up the expansive gravel driveway, blacked-out windows hiding shadowy movements. Butler had telephoned his parents almost as soon as Artemis had arrived back in his little cottage, and they had taken the first plane flight out from the French Alps, where the family had been holidaying, to welcome back their eldest son. Artemis's stomach dropped, and he found his palms were sweaty. How would they react? After his Father had returned, the family had been all smiles, but the disappearance was not his fault. Artemis Senior had been kidnapped by the Russian Mafia. Artemis Junior had tugged a silver bangle off an imp while he and an assortment of magical creatures had been falling to meet the Taiwanese pavement. The two were simply not comparable.

Suppressing the sudden shake that had overtaken his limbs, he managed to make it down the eighteenth-century stairway, to stand awkwardly at the foot. A key turned in the lock. There were voices on the other side of the door. Hushed but hurried voices. His parents. His mouth was dry.

The door creaked open: After Butler had left the Fowl's estate, it seemed that security and general maintenance had gone downhill. Two indistinct shapes could be made out, backlit by the greyish light that preceded dawn. The shapes crossed the threshold, caught sight of the slight boy in front of them, and froze.

None of them moved for several seconds, then one of the shapes dropped a bag.

"Father?" Artemis ventured.

There was no verbal response from the shape. Instead, it crossed over the Tunisian rug in the hallway in under three seconds and enveloped his son in a tight bear hug. The man's breathing hitched against his son's shoulder, but Artemis was too numbed by this unprecedented display of affection to feel embarrassed. Instead, pale arms snaked through gaps in his Father's hug to be wrapped around his back. He was home.

Angeline Fowl hung back slightly, her arms already occupied with two sleeping toddlers, but watched the reunion of father and son with a smile and glistening eyes.

After several minutes, the duo broke apart, and Artemis Senior surveyed the boy in front of him. In the pre-dawn twilight, he missed his son's newly hazel eye, and for that, he was glad. Explanations could wait. Artemis looked over to his Mother - or, more precisely, the two dark-haired bundles that were drooling slightly on her shoulder. His brothers. She followed his gaze and moved closer accordingly. She spared a few seconds to take in the familiar features that hadn't changed at all, despite the time difference, but she didn't question it. Explanations could wait.

"Artemis Fowl, meet your brothers, Miles and Beckett Fowl."

His father had appeared again, smiling at his sleeping sons over the shoulder of his eldest. "They don't seem to be quite as intelligent as you, Arty." He whispered, but the adoration in his voice kept the comment from becoming an insult and left it simply as a statement of fact. "But they have the same determination. I think that none of my boys would let death itself get in the way of their plans."

His Father's words caused Artemis to withdraw a shaking hand from the much smaller hand of his brother. Even now, at this emotional reunion, the boy's brain had been ticking away, and his Father's words had just sparked a theory. Or, more accurately, a scheme.

Artemis stayed with his family for a further five minutes, as they gave their son a quick analysis of their newest additions, but after that, Artemis excused himself, blaming tiredness, and after a promise to tell his parents exactly what had happened in the morning, he retreated to his study. Right now, he needed to speak to another genius. Explanations could wait.

LEP Ops. Booth, Haven

A few hours later, Foaly had moved on from the gutted computer littered across his floor, and had taken to checking the Mud People's websites for any updates concerning the existence of fairies. Luckily, the latest craze on the surface was for a different kind of magic altogether. It served to keep the Mud Boys looking the other way while the subterranean species continued about their daily lives. He sighed. It was quiet. For the last three years he'd been on constant red-alert, waiting for the energy spike that signalled the return of Holly, Artemis, and several samples of a species he had been told had died out. Now, everything was quiet. Commander Kelp was, unquestionably, a natural at the job. He hated being stuck in the Lower Elements, but his tactical brain had led to efficiency in all areas, meaning Foaly had very little to do, and very little people to be condescending to while he did it. He stretched his arms above his head. Perhaps all he needed were a few more seat-of-the-pant adventures. _That shouldn't be too hard with Holly returning to the force_, he reasoned.

With that thought, he made to clip-clop out of the control booth, leaving his beloved machines for another day. But one of his machines had other ideas. As he reached the door, it beeped at him; a rhythmic beeping that told him there was an incoming call. His interest was piqued. He crossed the room again and hit a blue button on the side of the control panel. A fuzzy video link popped up in a window on the computer screen.

"This is Ireland calling. Have I reached the LEP?"

Foaly pulled himself back into his specially-modified swivel-chair and let out a burst of laughter. Artemis Fowl was calling him. His prayers were about to be answered.

"Well, if it isn't my favourite snot-nosed Mud Boy, back from the dead."

Twenty miles above the centaur, Artemis grinned. There was no being alive he would class as his equal in intelligence except for the LEP technician. It was going to be an interesting conversation.

"To what do I owe the pleasure? Nobody's died, have they?"

The boy sighed, adjusting the focus of his computer camera. It was top-of-the-range, digital, but no doubt to the centaur it was as useful as a smoke signal on a windy day.

"Can't I just call to say hello?" There was a tinge of offence in his voice, a tone that often made his parents relent, but not Foaly.

A crackly whinny was heard over the computer's speakers. "The great Artemis Fowl the second doesn't make time for social calls. It detracts from his oh-so-cold image." And with that eloquent psychological assessment, an image of a darkened room filled Artemis's computer monitor. In the gloom, a distinctly non-human shape could be made out. Artemis didn't waste his breath on wondering how Foaly managed to hack into his closed system. The centaur was the only creature that had managed to tamper with the Fowl Manor security.

"Alright, if that's the way you'd prefer things. I need you to answer a question. About the time-spell."

Foaly was trying his best to look nonchalant, but the curiosity was too strong.

"Why?"

Artemis allowed a small smile to spread across his face. Time to reel the centaur in.

"Because if I'm right, then nobody will have died at all."

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Ooh, cliffhanger! Kinda. You will find that I'm a cliffhanger fiend. Pretty much all my paragraphs end in them. It's like reading _Goosebumps_ all over again.

So...like it?

_P.S. The title, A Root and Growl, is a saying which can either mean to sit down and have something to eat, or is used to urge someone not to give up whether or not they're succeeding. I'll let you decide why I picked the title. :)_


	2. A Little More Conversation

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note:** Well, like all good story villains, I'm back (Not with a vengeance quite yet. That's for the next chapter). Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, they make me smile, like this:)

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**LEP Ops. Booth, sunrise**

Foaly made a great show of adjusting his speakers. "I'm sorry Artemis, the connection must be faulty. Could you repeat that again without the cryptic air of superiority?"

The boy rubbed sleep from his eyes. Alright, so Foaly wasn't quite tripping over himself in awe, but he was undoubtedly interested.

"If my theory is correct." Artemis began slowly, enunciating clearly in a way that was obviously meant to be insulting. "Then we may be able to save Commander Root."

Whatever the centaur was expecting, it wasn't that. He practically fell out of his chair in shock, only to catch himself at the last minute and save some face. Face that he lost when he spent several seconds spluttering, attempting to mock the Mud Boy, but his sarcasm seemed to have deserted him.

The Mud Boy in question was watching the computer screen. A light had been switched on somewhere in the Ops. Booth, and he could clearly see the fairy struggling to comprehend what had been said.

Eventually, Foaly recovered enough for one word. "How?"

Artemis interlocked his fingers and stretched his arms in front of him. He was going to enjoy this.

"Simple, really. We create another time-spell."

The centaur managed to laugh at this statement. "Of course. We create another time-spell. Just like that."

"I understand it would be difficult, but -,"

"No, Fowl. It would be more than difficult. Not to mention dangerous. The Commander is gone. He's been gone for three and a half years. Everybody's moved on." The last part was said tenderly - for the centaur. He could see the sadness in a flicker behind the teenager's eyes.

"Has _everybody_ moved on?" Artemis asked pointedly. "For some of us, it's only been six months."

Foaly glanced back at the Commander's gun, gathering dust on the weapons rack. He could still see the trail of fingerprints Holly had left on the bronze plaque earlier that night.

"No." He sighed. "They haven't. But you're talking about changing history. Three years. People have been born, died. Found somebody." His eyes flickered to a small photograph on top of the monitor. "Are you willing to change that, for just one person?"

The human hesitated. These were all things he had thought about already - and much more besides - but hearing it from someone else was entirely different. He lowered his eyes from the camera for a moment, and Foaly thought he heard a slight hitching of breath, but when Artemis looked back to the camera, he looked just as cool as ever.

"We have to try." There was a hint of desperation in his voice. "If not for Julius, then for Holly."

Her name sparked another point. "Have you told her this?" 

The answer was slow in coming. "No. And I don't plan to. It would open wounds only just beginning to heal, and if it goes wrong, it could destroy her."

"And what are the chances of it going wrong? Nobody's ever rescued someone from the dead like this before. Perhaps there's a reason for that."

The boy smirked. "How do you know that? It could happen all the time, but you've never realised it." He didn't mention that he himself had saved Holly, Qwan and No.1 by using a fluctuation in time. That would raise too many more questions.

The centaur nodded. It made sense. Then again, Artemis's plans always did. "So what do you need me for?"

Artemis smiled, tiredness beginning to make his eyes droop. Now that his idea had been voiced, he could allow the fatigue in his bones to take over. "I need your help. After all, it would be difficult. Not to mention dangerous."

Haven Suburbs

A small, rather unremarkable suburban dwelling met Foaly's eyes. It looked as though it belonged to a nuclear family of Gnomes, complete with the neatly trimmed window-boxes and garish lawn ornaments littered on the front. This early in the afternoon, the family of Gnomes were likely to be asleep.

Then the top floor windows blew out.

Foaly grinned. He always liked visiting the warlocks.

Fowl Manor, Ireland, 3 p.m.

Artemis woke to the sound of a squalling baby. For a moment, he was confused, deciding that he had been kidnapped or else was still asleep. He closed his eyes again, willing himself back to sleep, or else to dream something new, but the crying persisted and eventually everything fell into place. One of his brothers obviously wanted attention. After lying there for several moments, Artemis decided he would not be able to get back to sleep, and so, with a low grunt of effort, pried himself from his bed and stumbled to the bathroom. He had been through too much in the past few days to only be allowed eight hours sleep. Whichever brother it was better have a good reason for waking him.

After almost half an hour under the hot stream of water in his shower, Artemis stepped out, dressed casually for him - a crisp, pale blue shirt and black suit trousers. He felt slightly more awake, if not more focused. There were too many things coming to a crux in his life to concentrate on any one thing.

His mother bustled past, one of the twins clamped in her arms. He was still whimpering slightly, and began to tear up again when he saw what was, to him, an unfamiliar face.

"Artemis, will you watch Beckett for a few minutes? Miles has hurt his head."

And with that, she left the teenager alone, continuing along the parquet corridor muttering comforting words in a ridiculous baby voice.

Trying not to feel upset by the apparent indifference his mother seemed to have adopted overnight to her son's reappearance, he walked to the room at the end of the hall, where the sounds of plastic hitting plastic could be heard.

Artemis hovered in the doorway, surveying his brother with a clinical fascination. They had the same dark hair and deep blue eyes - or would have done, had Artemis not swapped one with Holly - but the comparison ended there. Beckett was more tanned than Artemis, and chubbier. He also seemed to be attempting to fit a square plastic cube into a circular hole. That was not promising. It was a shame, really, after he had been named after such a distinguished novelist. Still, Artemis reasoned, one genius per generation was quite enough for the Fowl family.

A phone began to ring somewhere inside the house, but with a long-suffering sigh, Artemis sat cross-legged next to his brother and attempted to show him the right hole for the cube. Instead of conceding to the greater intellect, however, Beckett refused to let go of the block, and began a low cry. Artemis dropped the block as though scalded, and his brother went back to his puzzle, abandoning the circular hole in favour of a triangular one.

Angeline Fowl chose that moment to re-enter the twins' playroom, a still sniffling Miles balanced on one hip, and a cordless phone in her free, outstretched hand.

"A girl." She said, thrusting the phone at Artemis. "She said her name was...Minerva?" His Mother looked distinctly unimpressed at the choice of name, and it was only the fact that his heart had taken over his head, making it throb painfully, that he didn't point out the unusual names of her own children. He took the proffered phone from her, and walked into his room before answering.

Once he was sure his Mother was out of earshot, he licked his lips nervously. "Minerva?"

A strange noise, halfway between a squeak and a shout, was his reply. "You _are_ back! Artemis, you've been gone so long, I was so worried. And it was all my fault! If I wasn't so obsessed with the stupid Nobel prize, you never would have gone. To think you could have been killed..."

Artemis blinked. Twice. Minerva was babbling so fast he could barely make out what she was saying. _Still_, he thought, _three years of guilt could do that to a person_.

He returned his attention when the line went quiet. It wasn't abrupt, but Minerva seemed to have run out of steam, and they were left with a distinctly awkward silence.

"Er..."

What was that supposed to mean? He'd only had an experience like this once before, and this time, there was no Butler around to point him in the right direction. The silence stretched on. 

Artemis was seriously considering hanging up; after all, a conversation with the dial tone would probably be just as enlightening as their current one - if not more so - when something began vibrating hard against his oak wood desk. His mobile phone was in his trouser pocket, so only one other thing could be causing the vibration.

"Sorry, Minerva, I have to go." He said into the handset. He found it odd that despite the failure of their first conversation in three years, he was actually sorry to be going. "I'll call you when I can." With that, he pressed the 'end call' button on the phone, and turned his full attention to the fairy communicator, popping the lid to see not Holly's face, but Foaly's.

Artemis's feelings of disappointment evaporated instantly, to be replaced with something far worse, and more unfamiliar: anxiety.

"Well?" He snapped. "Can it be done?"

Haven Suburbs

Foalyknocked on the door of the house. He was greeted with a rather irritated voice.

"Just a minute!"

The centaur stomped his feet a little: he was not a patient creature. The warlocks could have their minute, then he would kick the door in. Artemis's idea was far-fetched, but seemingly possible. And if that possibility could bring back one of his few friends, he was going to do everything he could to fulfil it.

Five seconds before Foaly raised his hind legs, a dishevelled demon pulled the door open. Magical blue sparks played about a gash above his right eye, and he was panting slightly.

"Can I help you?"

Foaly bit back a derisive whinny. Artemis's plan had better work, for all the subservience he was going to be doing.

"Maybe. I need to ask you a few questions about your time-spells."

The demon snorted. "I know you, centaur. You'll want to bottle our magic and sell it to rich fairies who want to reminisce about the old days. Go away!"

He made to slam the door in Foaly's face, but a surprisingly strong, hairy arm stopped it from closing.

"Just answer the questions." He said, his voice straining slightly at the amount of energy he had to put in to stop the door from closing. Or so Foaly told himself. "Please. It'll help Holly."

Two younger-looking demons appeared from the shadows. One of them pulled on the older demon's arm, leading him away from Foaly and the door, and they began a private, whispered conference.

After another minute of waiting, the older demon sighed wearily, and gestured to the centaur to enter. The youngest of the demons smiled at him, and Foaly returned it half-heartedly. He remembered that particular imp. No.1, a veritable cyclone of power inside a paper bag.

The oldest demon, Qwan, sat down heavily in the living room. He closed his eyes and breathed through his nose for a moment, calming himself, before turning to face Foaly.  
"What do you want to know?"

The LEP technician began by explaining who Commander Root was. Lucky for him, none of the warlocks had any idea of fairy civilisation over the last ten thousand years, so Foaly could skip over the less attractive details of Root's character with no questions. The older, more experienced demons looked sceptical when Foaly suggested going back in time to save him. This was the part that Artemis had warned him about.

"How do we know that if we save this Commander, it will stop Holly coming to Hybras and saving the island? It would be a paradox for us to save him only to be still be trapped in limbo because of it. It'd cancel itself out."

The centaur nodded. "I ran some simulations on the computer. Holly was headhunted by Section Eight because of her knowledge of Artemis, who would have gone after the demons whether Root was alive or not, simply out of curiosity. I think your future is safe."

Qweffor, who had been silent up until then, began to speak, slowly, thinking about every word. "But what about other people's futures? Who's to say that bringing back this Root wouldn't kill thousands of others?"

Foaly gritted his teeth. He had never imagined having to make a case for the Commander to live. Then again, he had never expected Opal Koboi to ever wake up from her coma. His paranoia was slipping, and it was costing the same person each time.

"Root was a good fairy. I understand the risks, but Artemis and another of the demons has proven that time can be changed - the Gaudí mosaic. There will be consequences, and I accept that, but Haven needs a leader. Trouble Kelp is still too new to be of any real impact. We have to try."

It was the sincerest thing he had ever said, and the room was deafeningly silent in its wake. Qwan tapped his chin, thoughts creasing his brow, while Qweffor was staring, unfocused, into the next room. Only No.1, whose knowledge of the warlock arts was still too limited to make the decision, contented himself by conjuring a small kitten made entirely of blue sparks.

Foaly shifted on his hooves. Everything rested on their answer, and he was just beginning to get used to the idea that his world could be how it used to be again. It wasn't fair that it could be snatched back with one single word.

Qwan cleared his throat. "Get Fowl on the line. I think it's time I spoke to the organ-grinder."

A few minutes later, Foaly had jury-rigged a communicator to send a signal that reached the surface. Qwan watched him work, fascinated. The centaur had to keep up a constant stream of techno-babble to confuse the warlock - after all, it wasn't every day that Foaly didn't understand something. Payback time.

Artemis's face filled the com-screen. He didn't look happy. "Well?" A tinny voice snapped from the microphone. "Can it be done?"

Foaly opened his mouth, delighted to have someone to needle after spending almost an hour showing careful deference. Before he had chance to reply, however, Qwan elbowed him out of the way.

"I want to know, young human, why you are willing to potentially destroy the world for this one insignificant elf."

Artemis willed himself to be calm. "If there is a chance I can save my friends, I will do anything in my power to try. And Commander Root was far from insignificant."

"And yet the world seems to have continued without him."

When the boy next spoke, there was a tinge of desperation in his voice. "Please. All I'm asking is for you to try. I've saved you, and No.1, and Holly using the time-spell. Why is this any different?"

"There is a lot of difference between one minute and three years, boy!" Qwan barked. "Do you realise how much will be changed?"

"No, because nobody will know the world is any different! We've missed three years we weren't supposed to, yet nobody questioned it!"

The elder demon opened his mouth to argue back. And then closed it again. The human had a point.

"Alright. We'll try. But if we get back to our time and there's a slight _hint_ of a worse world than this one, then this fairy goes back to being dead."

Foaly let out a strangled cry and hugged the warlock around the head. Qwan pulled himself free, shot a dirty look into the com-screen, and closed the tiny gadget.

Up on the surface, Artemis smiled as the screen went black. Wise though the warlock may be, nobody outsmarted Artemis Fowl the second when he had something he wanted.

LEPrecon Headquarters, moonrise

Newly reinstated Corporal Holly Short burst through the double doors of the LEPrecon section of the LEP headquarters almost a minute late. By most standards, that wouldn't have counted, but Holly had spent too long under Commander Root's regime to feel that her lateness would go unpunished. Straightening her spine so she stretched to her full, one metre high height, she walked past the Commander's office, bracing herself for reprimand. She walked past the door.

Nothing happened.

She allowed herself to breathe out after she crossed the width of the office, and began to make her way over to her old cubicle.

However, before she reached her desk, the Commander's door was wrenched open.

"Capt...ah, Corporal Short! Could I see you for a moment?"

Holly sighed. _Here we go again_.

She slouched into Trouble's office, her head down. She was used to arguing back with him, back when they had been the same rank. If she did that now, he could quite easily have her badge.

"I have an assignment for you."

Her head shot up. No yelling? No threats about being kicked off the force? Then she noticed Trouble's expression.

"What sort of assignment?"

"It's a simple reconnaissance. Nothing for a professional like you. Just to ease you back into it, that's all. Not even above ground."

Holly advanced on the desk, looking surprisingly menacing. "Where?"

Trouble avoided her eyes. The gnomes of the Brotherhood of Bog had to pick today to go above ground. It was an LEP nightmare.

"E37."

* * *

E37, huh? Now why would Holly have to go there?

This chapter is a lot more technical (Time travel is hard to get your mind round). If you've noticed any points that don't make sense, or if I've missed any points, don't be afraid to tell me (you're allowed to tell me if you liked it, too!).


	3. Nothing is Nothing

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note:** You just can't get rid of me, can you:)

* * *

**LEPrecon Headquarters, moonrise**

"What?"

Trouble was still avoiding her gaze; pretending to shuffle paperwork and look as professional and commandeering as possible.

"Don't make this difficult, Corporal Short." He reverted back to official language in an attempt to offset the angry outburst he was certain was about to come from the female.

However, what did come, after a few moments' silence, was something much more difficult to handle.

"I can't go there." The statement was simple, and said in such a quiet voice that had Trouble not possessed the incredible hearing he did, it could have easily been missed.

"Holly...I wouldn't normally ask you, you know I wouldn't, but I have no-one else. They're all topside making sure the Brotherhood of Bog don't pass out unshielded."

"But -,"

The Commander stood up, walking round his desk to lay a muscular arm across her shoulders. It was an unforgivable display of affection in Police Plaza, but Trouble realised that it wasn't the time to follow protocol.  
"You don't have to go very far in. Just a quick sweep from the blast doors. All we're looking for is the cause of an unexpected power spike. It's probably a swear toad that got too close to the docking circuitry."

Holly lowered her eyes. There was a war going on in her mind. Her bold side, the side that made her such a good Recon officer, was steeling her to go there, to face down her demons and prove that Opal Koboi had lost. But the other side, the sentimental one, kept replaying the image of Root's death. The gentle smile - possibly the only one she had ever seen - that had been eaten up a second later by a miniature orange sun.

_Which way, Holly? Past or future? _

Opal's twisted smile filled her head. _Am I beating you again, Captain - no, Corporal now, isn't it?_

She raised her eyes. "One sweep. Looking for crispy fried swear toad."

Trouble nodded encouragingly. "There'll be a full Retrieval Squad waiting in the wings, just in case. But it's probably nothing."

The elf left the Commander's room, her shoulders squared. _Nothing is nothing_, she thought, quoting Artemis. _Especially not in that chute._

**Fowl Manor, Ireland, 8 p.m**

"Artemis?"

The boy flinched. Three years really had changed things. The stairs never used to creak in such a traitorous manner. He had been hoping to leave the house unnoticed.

His father stepped out of the study. He took in the bulging black duffel bag slung over his son's shoulder and the thick, waterproof jacket that swamped the teenager's slim frame, and drew the correct conclusion.

"You're leaving us again."

It wasn't a question, and that somehow made it worse.

"Yes."

Artemis Senior moved to grip his son's shoulders, forcing the younger boy to look him in the eye.

"Why?"

There was no trying to stop him: his Father knew that. He had twice the requisite amount of Fowl stubbornness. All he could do was understand what was so important to his son that kept him from connecting to those that mattered most.

"I have to help a friend."

The grip loosened. Artemis almost questioned it, but found himself in a tight embrace. Twice in as many days. It was over quickly: not long enough for the two to feel embarrassed, but it counted. His father made his way back to the study. Before he stepped in, he turned to face his son once more.

"Just promise me...when this friend is helped, you'll spend at least a week with us, being our son."

The door closed. A strange lump rose in his throat. He was neglecting family again.

After taking a moment to compose himself, Artemis Junior stepped out of the front door, closing it with minimal sound - no need for another goodbye with his mother - and walked away from his ancestral home, wondering how long it would be this time before he saw it again.

**Fowl Lear Jet, somewhere over France, three hours later**

"We'll be landing soon, Artemis."

Butler's voice brought the boy out of his trance-like state in the passenger area of the jet. He rose from his customary lotus-position of meditation and joined his bodyguard in the co-pilot's seat. From out of the window, the night lights of France could be seen, thousands of miles below. He settled into the seat, fingers twitching in his lap, near the controls.

"Would you like to land?"

Artemis was looking out of the window, a strangely absent expression on his face. He didn't hear the question.

"Are you all right?"

The boy sighed, problems beyond his age pressing on his shoulders. "Yes." He paused. "Maybe."

Butler knew better than to question his principal. The explanation would come when Artemis wanted it to. He didn't have to wait long.

"I've been thinking -,"

Butler allowed a small smile to tug at the corner of his mouth for a moment. Now there was a new one.

"-what if this all goes wrong? What if I'm gone for another three years?"

The on-board radio began spouting descending co-ordinates and other information in fast and fluent French. Both occupants of the Jet listened intently to the broadcast, not least to have something else occupy their thoughts.

"Quite a steep landing." The boy commented once Air Traffic Control had finished their instructions. "It must be windy in Paris tonight."

The Eurasian nodded, manipulating the plane's controls accordingly.

"You don't have to go through with it, you know."

The comment was unexpected: Butler, the soldier, was telling him it was alright to retreat. Hang his head in shame and keep out of Foaly's - or, more accurately, his hooves - way for the rest of his life.

"I can't do that. Not when I'm so close."

Butler tilted the controls to begin the descent. Silence rushed in to claim the cabin. Neither of the two spoke again until the plane had touched down on the Parisian runway, and when Butler broke the silence, it was with a heavy, thoughtful voice.

"You've got to do what you've got to do."

Artemis smiled in spite of himself. However hard he would try to return as close as possible to the present day, he knew his family and the Butlers would be waiting for him whether it took him another ten years to get home.

Half an hour later, Butler had driven his charge to the base of the bridge. They had flashed their way through customs with an airtight - if false - alias. As far as the French officials knew, the giant bodyguard was escorting the son of a Parisian ambassador home. It didn't hurt that Artemis could speak better French than the checkpoint guards themselves.

The boy in question was currently sat in the back of the black escort car, apparently relaxed. Only a trace of a worry-line gave away the fear of what the situation could become.

Butler switched off the engine and turned to face the backseat. "Time to go."

Artemis nodded, and Butler moved quickly to check the surrounding area before holding the door open for his principal. One black-loafered foot came out, then the other. Butler could not help but marvel at the discordance of the situation. A Fowl in Paris's underbelly. A diamond in the rough. He shook his head slightly to dispel the thought, and stood on guard for the boy. He had grudgingly accepted that Artemis did not want or need him on this mission, after several protests, and it was not until Artemis pointed out the possibility of leaving Juliet alone and ignorant of her brother's whereabouts for years that allowed the bodyguard to let him enter the fairy underworld unprotected.

But not before saying goodbye.

Butler laid a massive hand on his bony shoulder, careful not to apply too much pressure. The Irish boy looked the man in the eyes, eyes that had watched him grow up for years, taken care of him as a father would - albeit one that took orders.

It was a quiet moment. Both recognised the other, and there was a lot more acceptance in this goodbye than with his father.

Then a familiar voice crackled over the speakers. "Touching." It whinnied, its voice more distorted than it should be due to the fact that the speaker's mouth was full of carrots. But the humans weren't to know that.

The centaur swallowed the food in one massive gulp, and spoke again. "Would you like to hurry up? No pressure. It's just that hiding a stinkworm in E37 for longer than a minute is difficult, let alone an illegal shuttle, a very public Mud Boy, and a conspiracy to change Haven as we know it."

Artemis rolled his eyes and turned to the entrance. Butler watched him go. Just before he disappeared, seemingly into the bridge support, he shouted:

"Have fun!"

**En route to E37**

Corporal Holly Short was in an exceptionally bad mood. After being goaded into returning to the place of her nightmares - by a phantom image in her head, no less - Foaly was nowhere to be found, so she had been forced to sign the equipment out with Lieutenant Grub Kelp. Sool had promoted him a short while after she had left, apparently agreeing with the younger of the Kelp's attitude that anything could be accomplished if you complained loudly enough. Holly always wondered why Sool and the centaur didn't get on that well.

She was now hovering a few metres off the ground on a pair of new wings that she wasn't technically supposed to have used, skimming over the top of the pedestrianised city centre with a knot of worry in her stomach that was threatening to drag her down into the masses of civilians below. Her head told her it was time she got over the Commander's death. They had never really been friends.

Her heart begged to differ. The Commander had been the closest she had had to a father figure, and she knew that beneath the layers of professional hostility, he had cared about what happened to her.

_Well then, he wouldn't want you to fail at your job then, would he?_

She groaned as she kicked the throttle on her wings up a notch. All this psychoanalysis was giving her a headache. No wonder Artemis had no friends.

**E37, Paris side Shuttle Port**

Artemis himself stepped into the shuttle port and narrowly missed hitting his head on a protruding U-bend pipe. A plasma screen switched on a little in front of him, with Foaly's face on it.

"Sorry about that." He said, not sounding sorry at all. "After the Commander died, the shuttle port got even less clearance for use than it usually did. I guess it's falling into disrepair."

"I'll live."

He picked his way through the tiny port, avoiding the piles of debris that littered his path. After a moment's negotiation over a particularly chaotic section, Artemis spoke.

"So how am I going to get down to the Haven shuttle port? Holly isn't here to fly me this time."

He was sure he heard a snort from the other end of the speakers. Over the system, it was amplified and sounded like a small explosion.

"You'll find out, Fowl. Just make for the docking area."

The boy reached the ominous-sounding docking area a few minutes later. A large, silver shuttle made from thick titanium panels seemed to take up the entire platform. Artemis stared at it for a second, noting the suspicious lack of a fairy through the quartz windscreen.

"Alright, Foaly. I am at the shuttle. Now what?"

A voice boomed out over the yawning chute, the giant hole acting like a megaphone, but Artemis didn't jump, much to Foaly's dismay. He had seen the PA system when he stepped through the airlock.

"Get into the shuttle, close the door, insert the starter chip on the pilot's seat into the dashboard. Am I going too fast for you?"

"Surely you don't expect me to fly this...thing?"

The centaur allowed him a moment to sweat it out, before letting out a decidedly horse-like bray of laughter.

"No, I don't. Insert the starter chip and strap yourself in. I can do the rest from down here."

Artemis breathed out, obvious relief in his face. He had watched Holly pilot a shuttle several times, and the controls were complicated - not beyond him, as so very few things were - but not something he would like to master in a life-or-death situation, either. He crossed the threshold of the shuttle warily. It was true he trusted the centaur to get him to Haven in one piece, but he didn't say how shaken up that one piece had to be.

**E37, Haven side Shuttle Port**

The warlocks were getting restless. They had been given very little time to prepare following Foaly's proposition, and sleep deprivation, combined with enough power surging through their bodies at any one time to make a killer whale little more than a blowhole and a couple of teeth, did not make for very patient demons.

"How long do we have?" Qwan snapped.

They were sat in the controls' booth of E37. Foaly had already managed to set up seven different monitors and a host of other obscure electronic devices on the abandoned worktops. He had assured the warlocks, as they helped him carry it to the chute, that it was all necessary.

The centaur in question looked up irritably from his computer monitor, which was displaying a split-screen image of Artemis's descent in the shuttle, and the power readout from the terminal. If there was so much as one tiny spike, they would be surrounded by the LEP's best and brightest before he could say 'Whoops.'

"Not much longer." He said, forcing the words through gritted teeth. "He's nearly at the docking area, and then we can get started."

"_If_ we can get started. I would still like to know how this Fowl boy thinks we can form a circle with less than seven magical beings."

"You'll have to take that up with him." Foaly muttered, punching a complicated code into the computer. The docking nodes revolved together on the shuttle, and it landed with a pneumatic hiss. The human was safe.

"One small step for man." Foaly said grandly, making an expansive gesture at the teenager as he clambered off the shuttle, looking even paler than normal. "One giant bore for the People. Can we get started now?"

Artemis nodded, still not trusting himself to speak. He pointed to the inner part of the chute, and began to make his way there. The warlocks followed. Foaly, meanwhile, clopped back to his place behind the array of monitors. The first thing he saw when he got there made him blanch. The second was much worse.

**E37 Shuttle Port, Access Tunnel**

Holly drifted in through the giant blast doors, safe in her shielded state. It wouldn't hold for much longer: She had been neglecting the Ritual again. But it would do for a quick sweep of a supposedly deserted chute.

Even so, she fired up the plasmablaster, which hummed beneath her fingers as the radioactive missiles heated up. It didn't hurt to be cautious.

There was nothing unusual in the chute - at least not from a first glance. Flicking down the visor of her helmet, she chose the thermal sensor. Anything living would now show up red against the cold grey background. It also had the added bonus of showing anything electrical as red, too, so she would also be able to identify the cause of the power spike without too much investigation.

She swept her eyes across the terrain. Then hit her helmet. It had to be malfunctioning. Or possibly too sensitive, and reading residual electricity. Every one of the terminal wires showed up as a bright, pulsing red. She performed the customary sweep back, to see if she had forgotten anything the first time around.

What she saw made her gasp.

Four figures, one much taller than the rest, were walking through the dusty floor of the chute. She was certain they weren't there before. The taller one stumbled a little, and one of the smaller ones helped him. Holly felt her soldier's sense niggle at the base of her skull. There was something most definitely wrong in E37, and she had been through enough in there to know not to attempt anything without full backup. Preferably several backups.

The Corporal made to turn back the way she had come; through the blast doors. Only now they were rolling shut. Another thing that kept happening to her. Swearing, she fired up her wings, vowing never to return to the chute, if she managed to make it out alive this time.

It was a race against gravity. Holly pulled the throttle flat out, attempting to reach the gap between steel and soil before it closed, but she was a fraction too late, and it was only by a graceful turn upwards that she avoided crashing into the doors. She slapped them, and instantly regretted it as her hand began to throb with pain.

The pain was forgotten as an all-too familiar roar began at the other end of the chute. Holly moaned in exasperation as she scanned the ceiling for something she already knew would not be there. Coolant tanks.

"D'Arvit!"

* * *

Oh, I do torture that poor little Elf so!  
What do you think?


	4. Here We Go Again

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note: **Yep! Back again. I'm surprising even myself at the rate I'm doing this. Although I'll probably only get one more out before I go on holiday, so you'll have to really savour the experience :)  
I'm at most unease with this chapter, since it gets really heavy with the time travel. If you spot any mistakes, feel free to holler!

Oh, and one more thing (This is a long Author's Note, isn't it? Well, the chapter's a little shorter, so I guess they equal out). Foalys-Carrots asked about pairings - well, one pairing in particular. I just thought I'd give you all an answer. I'm not really any shipper (Aside from a brief stint with Holly/Root which was extinguished _very_ quickly when Colfer started with all the 'Father figure' stuff). So romance is going to be in the background, mostly, and will be kept to canonical pairings. Sorry :)

* * *

**Chute E37, Access Tunnel**

Corporal Short slid down the blast doors. Two solid metres of steel separated her from the outside world, and a magma flare was charging its way through the chute, boiling the air in its path, and baking any organic life that was unfortunate enough to get in its way.

She knew before she scanned the tunnel that there was no way of escape: Why would there be? Chutes had to be closed off during a magma flare - unless you were in a pod - otherwise the entire city would overheat.

_A pod... _

Holly looked up at the ring of charred rock. That mysterious group of people had to have come from somewhere. Sure enough, a small shuttle, probably privately owned, was clamped in at the entrance. It wasn't exactly the titanium-enforced pod designed to withstand the magma, but there was never much overspill from the chute. If she could reach the shuttle and move it nearer to the blast doors before the flare erupted, she would be safe.

It was a ridiculous plan, one that most people would abandon as soon as it came into their head, preferring instead to sit and reminisce about happy memories in their final few minutes of life. But, Holly realised with a painful kind of jolt, she had precious few memories that would count as happy.

She got a grim determination from this realisation, switched on her wings, and in less than eight seconds had soared over the strange beings - nearly kicking the dark-haired tallest in the face - and into the still-open door of the shuttle. She landed quite gracefully, racing over to slam the door. In case she didn't get to the other side of the tunnel in time, she had to hope that the silver lining in between the inner and outer walls of the shuttle would be enough to withstand what would hopefully be a small flare.

Luckily for her, one of the creatures had left the starter chip in the lock, so she didn't even have to waste seconds waiting for the engine to warm up. Curious. Still, she could see the steam in the chute, a short warning to the column of magma that was about to erupt out of it, and pressed the ignition button.

Nothing happened.

Holly fumed silently, wondering what she had missed out. In her visual search of the shuttle, her eyes fell through the quartz windscreen into the access tunnel, where the four people were now gathered in a circle, seemingly oblivious to their imminent deaths. The tallest creature was looking to one of the smaller ones, as though for instruction. _Odd_, thought Holly, _usually the tallest are in command. _Both Root and Trouble had had a good few inches on the fairy average: It made for better intimidation.

This fact, added to the pile of facts that already didn't make sense, set off a whirlwind of connections in Holly's mind.

_No..._

She stood up, pressing the door open against all her better instincts. She needed a closer view.

**Chute E37, access tunnel, a few minutes earlier**

Artemis felt a strange breeze over the top of his head; almost like someone had run their hand through his hair. He stopped for a moment, turning around as though there was actually someone behind him. Of course, no-one was. Or at least, no-one in the visible spectrum, and Artemis guessed Foaly's Section Eight suits would have become more economical in the past three years, so that even the slight shimmer in the air caused by shielding would be difficult to detect. Almost impossible.

He shook the thoughts from his head. Even if someone was watching them, the chances were they would be so preoccupied with trying to escape the magma flare that they wouldn't care what the boy and his friends did - they would assume that the quartet would be dead in minutes. Which they wouldn't be. In theory.

Artemis directed the warlocks to their positions using hand gestures - the roar of the upcoming flare drowned out even the loudest shout. He noticed Qwan and Qweffor exchange a doubtful look, but they did as he asked without question.

Now it was Artemis's turn for instruction. The three warlocks built the magical rings that would make up the shield, while he watched, fascinated. Within moments, they were surrounded by a crackling blue aura of sparks. It was much smoother than when he had last been present at the inception of a time-spell: they must have been practicing.

The three warlocks were stiff and still, blue magic playing about their entire bodies, their hands and eyes coated in a viscous yet insubstantial substance. The human was left to stand there, alone, surrounded by power but not part of it.

And then he was. Qwan's voice floated down from somewhere. "Fowl! It's your turn now! Concentrate on when you want to be!"

He braced himself. Last time he had almost killed them with his unprecedented lack of focus. This time, he was determined to get it right. He felt the stolen magic well up inside of him, like a mountain spring - it was easier this time, and clearer. The magic blossomed from his fingers and was absorbed by the shield, and once again, Artemis felt the unrivalled sense of belonging. The demon's consciousnesses were spread in front of him like the blueprint of a building. He could hear - or could he hear? It was more of a feeling; instinct - Qwan's thoughts, his doubts about the plan and his alternative one just in case Artemis's went wrong. Qweffor and No.1 were concentrating entirely on the magical shield, implicitly trusting the two. All through this, Artemis was focusing on the time he wanted to reach. There was no room for doubts, had he had any. They weren't moving an island with them, so that required less power. Power he hoped the warlocks could produce.

Then the flare came, shooting past the four like a bullet from a gun. Qwan sprang into action immediately, seemingly snatching the super-heated air around them and adding it to the shield. It glowed brighter. Artemis could sense the tension in the warlocks. They had to move before the energy from the flare subsided.

_1... _he counted, mostly for Artemis's benefit.

_2... _The magma had stopped now, and the cooler air fell back down to help equalise the chamber. Convection in action.

_3!_

The four lifted off, safe in a hemisphere of glowing blue. Artemis threw all his concentration into the past, willing them to land where they needed to. He succeeded, following the light in his head and ignoring the call from his own time, and pushed through to the same place, three and a half years ago, about an hour before Commander Root would begin his final operation. Artemis didn't congratulate himself on the success of his landing - he had been practising focusing entirely on a specific time, ignoring external stimuli, and this time there wasn't a horde of demons trying to pull him into a thousand different eras.

There was the same shock as there had been before, the same strange sense of bereavement and the painful landing. But there was something that wasn't quite the same. As Artemis stood up, brushing the tunnel dust off his suit, he noticed movement in the corner. Very familiar movement.

"Oh, no."

Holly coughed twice, sending out little clouds of red dust. After a quick once-over to ensure she was unharmed, she stood up. She still appeared to be in the access tunnel, only now there was no flare threatening to boil her insides within seconds, she was on the other side of the tunnel, and there was no mysterious shuttle.

The people were still there, though. They didn't look much better than she did, except the tall one was looking at her with a strange expression. Almost like he knew her. She shook her head. That was impossible. Ridiculous. It...it...

Fitted with her newborn theory.

Without a second thought, she activated the wings on her back, any surprise that they still worked lost in a strange surge of fury. In seconds, she was inches from the tallest creature's face, his two mismatched eyes wide.

"Hello, Holly."

She snarled and drew back her fist. Quicker than Artemis realised what was going on, she punched him full on the nose. Several somethings cracked.

The LEP Officer was massaging her knuckles when No.1 sat up. "Holly? What are you doing here? Are you alright?" His voice was weak and cracked, and errant blue sparks still played across the plates on his chest. He had never attempted a magic circle with so few before. Then again, he had only ever attempted two magic circles. Still, the power had had to come from somewhere.

Holly looked up at the little imp. "It hurts like hell, but sometimes you just have to hit someone with a straight fist.

"As to what I'm doing here, I was going to ask you the same thing."

No.1 blinked. "Artemis Fowl wanted our help with something. He said he wanted to go back in time."

She grunted. Of course, the reason they survived the flare must have been the warlocks converting the energy. But why would Artemis want to go back in time again after their last trip had proven so dangerous?

"Did he say why he wanted to do that?" The soldier in her had taken over, and she was surveying the surroundings. It didn't look much different than when they had been in the tunnel in the future. In fact, it was almost identical. The only thing that was different was...

"Oh, no."

Artemis woke up again, his head bent at an awkward angle on the ground, and a small pool of blood congealed by his nose. He didn't have long to speculate, however, as he was hauled onto his back by small, strong hands. He met a very familiar, very angry face.

"One reason, Fowl! Give me one reason why I shouldn't haul you up by your ears and drop you into the core!"

The boy moaned. How was it always Holly that managed to get dragged into his schemes?

She didn't seem to want to drop the issue. "Just what, exactly, were you planning on doing?"

He was afraid of this. It was the reason he hadn't told Holly his plan. She would refuse to let it happen, as her moral nature dictated, but it would tear her apart in the process. She wouldn't stop looking at him. Finally, it was in a small, quiet voice that he said:

"I'm trying to save Julius."

There was silence in the access tunnel. An awful, cloying silence that threatened to suffocate the ones who had created it. Holly was staring at him as though seeing him for the first time, while Artemis was carefully taking an interest in the maze of wires above their heads.

The warlocks were recovering quickly, aided by the magic swirling along their bodies. Artemis, would could still feel blood trickling unpleasantly down his throat, wished that one of them would heal him, but they were wisely keeping out of Holly's way.

The human coughed. The silence was unbearable, and he had to do something to break it.

"We should hide. The LEP will be down here in minutes."

The warlocks mumbled their agreement, picking their way through to the old Goblin's shuttle, which had been painted black and had a decorative prow strapped to its nose, courtesy of the Haven Film Studio. All shuttles had a thin lining of silver between their walls - it was a good absorber of the chute's thermals, and helped to power the shuttles if the energy was converted. It would also anchor the time-travellers to that particular moment. Artemis had thought that, as they were not too far out of their own time, they would not be as affected by the pull, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Holly followed automatically, her wings activated so that she skimmed a few inches off the ground. She appeared deep in thought, so deep that Artemis and Qweffor had to pull the elf in hastily as the blast doors opened. Apparently they had less time than the boy had planned. He gripped the fairy communicator in his pocket tightly. It all rested on that one little device. Hopefully the time-spell had managed to reassemble it correctly.

Two small figures appeared in the frame of the blast doors. They were wearing suits that seemed to blend into the surroundings. One of the figures cocked their gun, while the other advanced slowly, carefully keeping out of the way of the one with the gun. It was heading towards a large, lumpy black shape on the ground next to the tunnel wall. It pressed a button on its helmet, and Commander Root's voice rang out, echoing down the tunnel.

"You there. Stand facing the wall. Place your hands on your head."

The voice seemed to clear Holly out of her daze, where she had been staring vacantly through the windscreen of the shuttle.

And then everything went wrong.

The voice pierced through Holly's memory like lightning. It was a voice she hadn't heard, save for recordings, in over six months. Before she knew what she was doing, she had stood up and pulled back the pop out door on the Goblin shuttle.

Artemis hissed "no!" a second too late. The elf was perfectly framed in the shuttle's doorway, her own cam-foil suit turned a stealth black to match the shuttle. Her visor was down.

Captain Holly Short of LEPrecon wasn't known to panic. In fact, only one elf had ever seen her lose control, and that was more than twenty years ago. Still, when a strange black figure appeared in the opening of the goblin shuttle, she was surprised, to say the least. She manipulated her helmet controls to get a close up of the face, saw an incredible facsimile of her own face looking...no, _gazing_ at the Commander, and panicked.

The next thing she knew, the impostor was on the floor, writhing, kept conscious by the jolts of electricity running through her suit as it malfunctioned. Commander Root was looking from her to the person on the floor of the shuttle, and his voice crackled over the speakers.

"What the hell was that, Captain?"

"Sorry, Commander. I...don't know what came over me."

Root sighed. Female elves. Temperamental, the lot of them. "Was it a low-level pulse?"

"Yessir."

"Good. There's something I don't like here, Captain. Go and secure your your hostile, and then help me with Scalene."

"Yessir."

Root resumed his poking of the Goblin general, with one that had enough force behind it to knock him sideways, revealing his face.

"Short..." Root said, stopping the past Holly in her tracks as she made her way to the shuttle.

"Commander?"

"It's Scalene. He's been mesmerised. I say we grab our convicts and leave."

"Good idea." There was definitely something bizarre going on in the tunnel.

Root made to pull the Goblin to his feet by his collar, intending to frogmarch him back to Trouble Kelp's operation centre.

"Do not touch me, elf."

The Holly on the floor, who had been too preoccupied with the pain of the continuing jolts from her suit to really listen to the events going on around her, groaned when she heard this new voice. _Here we go again._

* * *

Hmm...how's Artemis going to get out of this one? And why did Holly get sucked along for the ride?

That would be telling, wouldn't it:)


	5. Chute First, Questions Later

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note: **Once more into the breach, dear brothers:)  
So this one's taken a little longer to complete than the others. I'm not entirely sure why. Perhaps I jinxed myself last chapter, or it could be because this one is so closely intertwined with the book that I wanted to make sure everything was still plausible. Anyway, enough of my excuse-making. Enjoy! Or don't...

* * *

**Chute E37, Access Tunnel, three and a half years earlier**

"What's going on here?" Root's voice was amplified over his PA system, which Artemis was thankful for. He could time his part in the plan without having to guess. And every tactical half-wit knows that guessing leads to disaster. Artemis was practically overqualified.

The Holly from the past - or the present, as it was now - was still stood a few feet from the shuttle. Although she hadn't moved closer to her future self, she was far too near to the Goblin shuttle for Artemis's liking.

"Whatever it is, we won't like it. We should go, Commander, right now."

Root's voice echoed out again. It sounded curious rather than afraid. A quality that was good in a police officer, but not so favourable for survival.

"That voice came from his chest."

"Maybe he had surgery." Holly was grasping at straws, Artemis could tell. He had to admire her soldier's sense - if it weren't for the fact he knew what was going to happen in a few minutes time, he would have no idea there was anything wrong. A fatal mistake, as it would have been.

"Let's get out of here."

Instead of listening to his officer, Root bent down and pulled off the cape covering the General, like a magician unmasking an illusion. Even without the optics provided by Holly's helmet, Artemis knew what was strapped to the Goblin's chest. A metal square, with a small screen in the centre. The shadowy figure on the screen was talking, still in a reptilian tone, but too educated to belong to a Goblin. They could barely handle words with more than two syllables.

"Ah, Julius, I knew you'd come. Commander Root's famous ego would not allow him to stay out of the action. An obvious trap, and you walked right into it."

The voice was changing even as they listened to it. It was becoming more refined, more feminine and definitely more malicious. The Holly on the floor let out a moan, loud enough for her past self to hear.

"What?"

Holly struggled onto her elbows, fighting the shocks that passed over her chest from the laser burst that had fried a circuit in her suit.

"That voice. You recognise that voice, don't you?"

The question came in short gasps, but there was no mistaking what she said.

"How did you...?" The question died in her throat as she caught sight of her own face, taut with pain, a few feet from her.

"It's Opal Koboi. She's escaped. You need to get out. Take the Commander and warn Foaly."

The short sentences were too much in Holly's pain-addled state, and she slipped off her elbows into unconsciousness, body still twitching occasionally from the jolts from her suit.

As her strange doppelganger's eyes rolled back, the screen on Scalene's chest brightened, and a heavily bandaged head came into view. The features were only too clear. Wasting no time wondering how her clone had known it was Koboi taunting them - she was probably on the pixie's payroll - Holly began to bark orders into her helmet mike.  
"Foaly, we have a situation here. Opal Koboi is loose. I repeat, Koboi is loose. This whole thing is a trap. Cordon off the area, five-hundred metre perimeter, and bring in the medical warlocks. Someone is about to get hurt."

Koboi laughed, showing off two neat rows of sharp teeth.

"Talk all you want, Captain Short. Foaly can't hear you. My device has blocked your transmissions as easily as I blocked your seeker-sleeper and the substance scan that I assume you ran."

The Opal-image paused for breath, clearly planning another sentence to assume her mental superiority, when Holly's pocket vibrated, and a few bars of the current underground hit song could be heard through the material, albeit muffled. She reached inside, obviously confused, and pulled out a small purple device: a fairy communicator.

She flicked the lid, and Artemis's face appeared in the screen.

"That's impossible!" Opal screeched, her tiny fists raised. "I blocked all communications to inside this tunnel myself. How did that Mud Boy get a line?"

Holly ignored the outraged pixie and her Commander's questioning face and turned to the device. Her day was getting stranger and stranger. Artemis was supposed to be mind-wiped. And even if he regained his memories, how had he managed to hack into the fairies' transmissions network?

"Holly? Is that you?" The Irish boy sounded scared, and he kept casting furtive glances to his surroundings.  
"Artemis? How did you -"

"Get my memories back? Manage to call you? Opal Koboi is back, Holly. She sent a bio-bomb to my hotel room using a tracking device. Butler managed to save us, but he's unconscious. I remember everything because she had to gloat first. I'm using one of my prototype c-cubes to call you."

"But we got rid of anything fairy-related."

"Butler had the sense to disguise them as child's building blocks. He didn't see any reason why Fowl Industries should lose money from my invention."

Holly pinched the bridge of her nose. The Mud Boy had regressed. She knew it would happen. But now wasn't the time.

"Why did you call me, Artemis?"

"She said that you and Commander Root were next."

**Chute E37, the Goblin shuttle, a few minutes earlier **

Artemis sat inside the Goblin shuttle, his body shaking slightly with anticipation. His melodramatic side couldn't resist waiting until Opal said she had blocked communications, but that meant he had longer to sit in the tight shuttle. The three warlocks were crammed next to him, obviously confused but thankfully silent. He needed his concentration.

A few more minutes passed, and Holly attempted to contact the base outside.  
"Talk all you want, Captain Short..."

There! Quickly, Artemis pulled the fairy communicator out of his pocket and popped the lid in one fluid motion. A short list of numbers appeared on the crystal screen, and Artemis selected the second one. The screen changed as the device tried to connect with Holly's, and eventually it began to ring.

He could just about make out the noise of her ring tone in the tunnel, and let out a silent breath of relief. If Opal had been more thorough than he had anticipated, his plan would not have worked.

She _had_ blocked communications outside the access tunnel. But Artemis wasn't outside the tunnel.

The screen cleared, and he saw the tunnel from another perspective. Holly's face was in the foreground, shining with sweat. Now was the tricky part.

"Holly? Is that you?"

He had to act scared. It was true he had done before, while they were baiting Spiro a few years ago, but that was different. Spiro was quite an unstable man, and could have ordered his lackeys to dispose of Artemis any time he liked, cube or not. It wasn't hard to let out some of the fear inside his chest.

"Artemis? How did you -"

He cut across her with a quick, gabbled explanation. The chances were it wouldn't hold water under scrutiny, but no-one would suspect time-travel was involved. Not even Foaly.

**Chute E37, Access Tunnel, present day **

Foaly drummed his fingers against the metallic desk of the controls booth. The flare had passed, him safe in the titanium-enforced, air-conditioned cube of the controls booth - it was designed to override shuttles and pull them to safety if they got intro trouble, and so the occupants had to be able to withstand a flare inside it.

Outside, however, was a different story. Anyone in the Access Tunnel would be boiled alive by the superheated air in seconds. Unless, of course, they were using the energy from the flare as a boost for their time-travelling escapades.

He swivelled in his chair, checking the monitor which held the imaging of the shuttle port. There was no sign of Holly. She had been attempting to fly the shuttle Artemis had arrived in to the other side of the terminal, away from the column of magma, and sit out the flare in its cool interior. It was a good plan, were it not for the fact the shuttle had been specially designed to be remotely controlled. He had tried to rewire the shuttle, or to fly it himself over to the other side of the tunnel, but he hadn't done more than nudge the controls when Holly had disappeared from his screen. It was almost as though she had been sucked out of existence.

He swept over the other screens, checking for the grisly sight of any of his friends, pink and bloated from the hot air. There was nothing on the monitors. He breathed out. It seemed as though Artemis's plan had gone off without a hitch. Unusually. Although he couldn't fathom what had happened to Holly, he had to assume that she was safe, wherever she had vanished to. Praying that the proverb about assuming making asses of oneself didn't hold true in this case, he made to return to his computer, intending to amuse himself for a few hours with his new hobby of breaking anything Lieutenant Grub Kelp came into contact with.

Before he got very far, however, he came face to face with the elder Kelp. He didn't look happy.

**Chute E37, Access Tunnel, three and a half years earlier**

"Short, what's going on?"

Root's voice tore Holly's questioning gaze from the pixelated image of Artemis.

"Artemis and Butler are in trouble, sir. Coma girl sent a bio-bomb after them."

"That's a lie!" Opal hissed.

"Shut up, Koboi. You're already down for life imprisonment. It takes one small form to ensure you a nice cell in Howler's Peak."

Opal paled, the threat hitting home, despite her plan to ensure she would never be caught. Howler's Peak was the Goblin prison. She and Briar Cudgeon hadn't built any bridges with the Goblins during their failed uprising.

"Forgetting for a moment that Foaly's 'foolproof' mind-wipe wasn't worth a gnome's promise that he didn't eat the last pit-slug, did Fowl say we're next on Opal's hit list?"

"First!" The box on Scalene's chest fumed.

"We should get out of here, Commander." Holly said, ignoring Opal.

"First sensible thing I've heard in a while. Captain, secure your hostile and we'll retreat to Major Kelp's base." He jerked his head at the idle coms device still in Holly's hand. "Then we'll go fetch the Mud Boy."

Opal smirked, apparently back in control. "Oh, there might be a little hitch in your plan, Commander."

Root turned from Holly, ready to shout a little at the pixie, but before he completed his turn, a movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. "Holly! The doors!"

Holly fired several shots into the magnetic rollers on the doors' upper rim. Two of the rollers blew out completely, but it was no use. The doors' own momentum slammed them together, the resounding crash of steel-on-steel echoing throughout the tunnel.

"Alone at last." Opal said sweetly.

Root spun to face the screen, brandishing his weapon wildly to emphasise his point. "What do you want?"

"You know what I want," Opal spat back. "The question is, how am I going to get it? What form of revenge would be most satisfying? Naturally, you will both end up dead, but that's not enough. I want you to suffer as I did, discredited and despised. One of you at least - the other will have to be sacrificed. I don't really care which."

The Commander shot a scowl at Opal's image, and retreated to the blast doors, gesturing for Holly to follow.

"Options?" He whispered.

Holly raised her visor, wiping sweat from her forehead and meeting the Commander's eyes. "We have to get out of here. The chute is the only way."

Artemis, who had held his tongue long enough for the past versions of his friends to learn of Opal's scheme, finally coughed again. Holly looked at her hand, evidently surprised. She had forgotten about Artemis.

"You have a plan, Mud Boy?"

"Not as such, no. But you're right about getting out of the chute. As soon as possible. Sooner, if you can."

Holly gritted her teeth. "Thank you for that, Fowl. I always wondered how we managed to get along without your genius to guide us." And with that, she stowed the device back in her pocket. It was still on, just in case they needed a quick plan, but as he was being unhelpful, she didn't need him shooting down their theories.

"We fly up far enough to clear Koboi's blocker signal, then alert Major Kelp."

His Captain chewed her lip. "What about Scalene? He's mesmerised to the gills, he can't look after himself. If we do escape, Opal's not going to leave him around as evidence."

Root let out a growl of exasperation. "It really tugs my beard to put us in harm's way over a Goblin, but that's the job. We take Scalene with us -"

A buzzing could be heard from Holly's pocket. She took it out momentarily, only to hear the words "-that's the most idiotic -" and put it back.

"-I want you to sink a few charges into that box round his waist, and when the buzzing stops I throw him over my shoulder and we're off up E37."

"Understood." Holly raised her visor, manipulating the controls on her Neutrino.

"Ignore the pixie. Whatever she says, keep your mind on the job." The Commander was obviously nervous, his hands shaking a little. The sight sent a strange bolt of calm through Holly.

"OK. Go."

The LEP Officers turned and strode purposefully towards the Goblin and the malicious box. Holly's pocket was still humming, and Holly assumed Artemis was still lecturing them about the idiocy of their plan.

"Have we come up with a little plan? Something ingenious, I hope. Something I haven't thought of?"

Holly stopped in her tracks. Artemis's insistence that their plan was stupid, along with Opal's obvious delight at their approach set off a chain reaction of doubt. Opal had been planning this for a year. She was hardly likely to just let them fly away unharmed.

"Sir..." she began, but Root was already in position.

Trying to shake off the doubts, Holly fired six shots into the centre of the screen. Opal's face vanished, mid-smile, and Root grabbed Scalene by the epaulettes.

**Chute E37, the Goblin Shuttle, a minute earlier **

Artemis was in the middle of a reprimand when Holly unceremoniously pushed the device back into her pocket. He set his jaw against an unfamiliar growl of annoyance that threatened to give away their position, and carried on the lecture in the hopes that Holly would hear it. He did have an alternative plan, but it was incredibly reckless, and had every chance of putting them in a worse position than before. He poked his head up a little, so that he had a clear view of the access tunnel through the quartz windscreen. He saw Holly fire six shots into the device on the Goblin's chest, and Root prepare to pick the General up. Realising they hadn't listened to him, he made an split-second decision to go to Plan B. He raced to the other side of the shuttle, and stood in the doorway, gripping the side. The core wind whipped his hair - still longer than he would have liked, as the time tunnel had made it grow at an accelerated rate. He guessed that it must look quite cinematic, but didn't have seconds to spare on excess thoughts.

The fairy communicator had a loudspeaker option, so, cancelling the call to Holly, he quickly accessed the file, placed the microphone to his mouth and shouted "Stop!"

He just hoped he'd interrupted in time.

**Chute E37, Access Tunnel **

"Stop!"

The voice bounced off the tunnel walls, echoing back on itself. It was Artemis's voice, the voice Holly had been ignoring a few minutes earlier, but it sounded more real, as though he was in the tunnel with them.

Both the elves followed the command, freezing in their positions, Holly with her gun still pointed at the box on Scalene's chest, and Root half-supporting the Goblin.

"Don't pick the Goblin up. It's a trap!"

Artemis rolled his eyes at the cliché he'd just shouted, but the words were true enough. Root looked confused, scanning the surroundings for the source of the voice.

"Drop the Goblin!"

He couldn't get much clearer than that. The Commander finally seemed to understand, but before he could act on the words, the set of octo-bonds that secured the box to Scalene's chest released with several mechanical clicks. Root's eyes widened, his body realising what was happening, but his brain not processing the information fast enough to act on it. The octo-bonds snaked their way around Root's waist, latching onto his torso. Another screen was on the reverse of the box. A screen that held the image of Opal Koboi's vicious smile.

"Commander Root, it looks like you're the sacrifice."

Artemis watched the events happen almost simultaneously. Once the octo-bonds tightened around Root's chest, several sickening cracks could be heard. At least three of the Commander's ribs were broken. He kneaded his forehead with his palm. He'd never met anyone so dead set against his own survival as Commander Root.

* * *

Well, looks like our heroes are back to square one!  
Or, as back to square one as you can be with a certified genius and three time-travelling warlocks to help you.  
And what part to Foaly and Trouble have to play? I just keep piling on the questions, no?

Like it? Hate it? Well, I don't know, do I? It's up to you to press that little purple thing in the corner (Not a fairy communicator, sadly) and tell me!


	6. Everybody Dies Alone

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note: **OK, so this Chapter's rather substantially shorter than the rest of them (almost a thousand words in some cases), but it's the only one where I actually planned to break it at the point it's been broken at. I'm not sure why, it just had to be broken there. So there. :)

* * *

**Chute E37, Controls' Booth, present day**

"Commander." Foaly nodded in his direction, feigning nonchalance. He clopped over to the opposite desk, pretending to be checking the security monitors.

"Foaly." Trouble nodded. "Where's Hol...Corporal Short?"

The Centaur pulled his best thinking face, debating whether to tell the Commander the truth and be flayed alive, or lie and hope that by the time he was found out, Artemis and the warlocks would have been able to save Commander Root.

He went with the lie. "She flew up the chute. Decided to check whether the disturbance was topside since she couldn't find anything here."

_Vague_, he thought, _vague but believable. Hopefully._

He watched Trouble's face carefully. The problem with Commander Kelp was that he was too healthy. No fatty red meats and fungal cigars clogging up his system and giving those around him a handy colour-chart to his moods.

Eventually, he let out a noise between a sigh and a groan.

"She flew up the chute?"

He swallowed. "Yessir."

"And that's all you're going to tell me."

He grinned. Trouble caught on quicker than Root. Give the centaur a free reign - pardon the pun - and things usually got done faster.

The Commander saw the smirk on his face. "Don't push it, pony boy, or you'll be filing your own budget orders for a year."

Foaly tutted, turning back to his precious computers. "No, no, no, Commander. You have to _mean_ it." New blood. Always so hesitant to sling empty threats.

**Chute E37, Access Tunnel, three and a half years earlier**

"D'Arvit!"

The octo-bonds tightened around his chest as he beat the metal box bearing another tele-screen with Opal Koboi's face on. Eventually, gasping, he stopped, allowing the blue sparks to play about his chest and set to work healing his broken ribs.

Holly rushed forward, intent on helping, but before she got very far a digitised beeping began from the box. The closer she got, the louder and more urgent the beeping became.

"Stay back." Root's voice was low with pain, and he fought not to cry out. "Stay back. It's a trigger."

She stopped obediently, but swung a punch at nothing in particular to let out her frustration. Things were going from bad to worse.

"Listen to your Julius, Captain Short," Opal said, waggling a finger at the LEP Officer. "This is a moment for caution. Your Commander is quite right - the tone you hear is indeed a proximity trigger. If you come too close, he will be vaporised by the explosive gel packed into the metal box."

Root grunted. "Stop lecturing us and tell us what you want."

"Now, now, Commander, patience. Your worries will be over soon enough. In fact, they are already over, so why don't you just wait quietly while your final seconds tick away."

Artemis wasn't watching the interchange between the two police officers and the madcap pixie. He was too busy sheparding the warlocks out of the shuttle. It seemed that Commander Root had gone ahead and decided to ignore Artemis's simplistically brilliant scheme for his survival, and put himself in mortal danger anyway. Now, they would have to attempt a risky, quickly formed magic circle with a much lower chance of success.

_It never rains, but it pours, _he thought.

He stopped, midway between the shuttle and the fairies, to bend down and scoop up the still-unconscious present-day Holly. The suit had finally shut down, stopping the electrifying jolts, and she would have appeared peaceful were it not for the pained expression on her face. With a twinge of guilt, he slung her over his shoulder in an amateur's fireman's lift and carried on to the scene of the action.

Holly had never been more confused. Her Commander was at the mercy of a pixie with a reality problem, and she could see no viable course of action that would let the two of them escape unharmed. Now, however, three strange-looking...things had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, and a previously mesmerised Mud Boy was jogging towards them, pink in the face, with her impostor bobbing along on his shoulder, her head lolling.

"Artemis," she growled. "Are you behind this?"

He debated ignoring her - after all, he had much more important things to do with his time - but he noticed her hand straying to her Neutrino, so, taking a deep, gasping breath, he spoke.

"No."

_Fairly unimpressive_, he thought, _and wholly unconvincing. _

Instead of trying to explain - it would take too long, and Opal could just detonate the bomb with them in the tunnel, putting them in a worse position than before, he asked a simple question.

"Do you trust me?"

"No."

Artemis gritted his teeth. This was the Holly of - technically - three and a half years ago. She was still little more than an acquaintance to him.

"Holly. Please, believe me. Something very bad is going to happen in this tunnel, unless we -," here he pointed to the three warlocks who were surveying Root with varying expressions of curiosity "-can stop it. It's risky, but we have no other option."

"What're you talking about, Mud Boy?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course Holly would make it difficult for him.

Opal wasn't making it any easier. She had seen the four creatures that had appeared from the shuttle, and, in a rare moment of panic, thought the LEP had outsmarted her.

As they approached her playthings, however, she recognised one, at least. Artemis Fowl Junior. This would be easier than she thought. She waved with a false cheeriness at the human, who spared a brief contemptuous glance her way before returning to convincing the female elf.

"Hatching a plan, are we?" Opal smiled sweetly at the two. "I do hope it can be completed in less than a minute."

That seemed a rather ominous thing to say, and as they both turned, two red numbers appeared in place of Opal's face. Even as they watched, two seconds passed and the numbers began ticking backwards.

"One minute to live, Commander. How does that feel?"

Holly turned from Artemis, to wave her gun uselessly at the box on her Commander's chest. "Shut it down, Koboi. Shut it down or I swear I'll..."

Opal cackled. "You will what? Exactly? Die beside your Commander?"

Artemis didn't have time for this - or, more accurately, Julius Root didn't have time for it. He nodded covertly to the warlocks, and in under two seconds, they were under the trance of the blue sparks. He looked imploringly at Holly. "Please. Believe me. I'm trying to save him."

She arched an eyebrow. "Since when do you care about other people?"

He bit his lip. _Since I watched his death tear you apart? Since I lost you for a minute on an island removed from this dimension? _The truth was, he didn't know. And neither of those answers would satisfy Holly.

She'd probably punch him again.

"Just trust me."

The countdown was ticking closer to zero. It was at the lower end of forty seconds now. Holly looked at the Commander, pain and apprehension evident in her eyes. She was looking for orders.

"Go now. Holly. I'm ordering you to go."

She looked on the verge of refusal, then caught Artemis's gaze again. "Your eye - why is it brown?"

"It's yours. It's...complicated. But if you don't go now, go to the Munich Hotel, you'll never find out. Please."

Finally, something in that sentence persuaded her. She kicked up her wings, flying to the entrance of the shuttle.

"If you kill the Commander, Fowl, I'll hunt you down, interesting adventure with misplaced eyes or not." And with that, she left, hopping up the chute, cursing her decision all the while.

Artemis closed his eyes, opening them again to look at the timer. Thirty seconds left. Not great, but he'd done more with less.

_Liar_, his brain chided.

He took his place in the circle, laying Holly on the floor in front of Root's feet. He suspected he knew why she'd been pulled into the past with them, and just hoped it would hold true on the return journey, as well.

Root looked at the future version of his officer in amazement. Her hair was slightly longer, poking through underneath her visor, but otherwise she was a perfect replica.

"What's going on here?"

Artemis, however, had had enough of questions.

"Commander. Be quiet, or enjoy the last thirty seconds of your life."

He closed his eyes, and began to channel his magic in front of Root, which in itself almost gave the elf a heart attack.

The magic flowed with such an urgency that Artemis was sure it knew about the impending explosion. Qwan was especially fraught, building a hasty shield around the bomb on Root's chest.

He took his place properly, letting images of Butler, his parents and the twins fill his head. He focused mostly on the twins, the fervent desire not to miss any more of their childhood, even if it was just to teach them which blocks went into which hole. He felt the calling easily, instinctually, and was certain it was right. He pushed towards the white light in his head, instead of letting it carry him there. He was going home, and nothing was going to stop that.

The timer clicked down. Ten seconds left now. Root was looking at the unconscious Holly on the floor. If he was going to die in the tunnel, he'd rather his last sight under the Earth was someone friendly and familiar. Even if she was out cold. And drooling slightly.

Five seconds to go. He debated some last words - something heroic and timeless, but realised with a strange hurt in his chest that no-one would hear them. Opal had disconnected the communications outside the access tunnel, and everyone around him was either in various states of trances, or unconsciousness. He was going to die alone.

A morbid voice in his head retaliated. _Everybody dies alone._

A comforting thought in his final seconds of life.

Three...

Two...

_One!_

The bomb exploded, white hot with an orange edge, encapsulated in the inner shield. It looked like a miniature sun. The white hot core flew outwards, pushing energy into the little shield until it swelled and buzzed like a hornet's nest. It couldn't take much more energy. He had to congratulate Opal, Artemis thought bemusedly. She really had tried her hardest to kill the Commander.

Qwan let the energy freely into the outer shield. It was absorbed greedily, making the outer shield pulse.

They kicked off the ground, the magic in the air making a small tornado of the dust in the tunnel. Artemis, though his eyes were still closed, was looking for Commander Root, using the strange lateral vision they seemed to possess whilst in the time-tunnel. If his plan had worked, the Commander should be safely in the tunnel, a little confused, but no worse for wear than he usually was. If his plan hadn't worked...well, he'd be hunted down by Holly. And he'd accept whatever punishment she gave him.

**Chute E37, Controls' Booth, present day**

Foaly was still watching the CCTV footage with a practiced interest. There was an entire retrieval team of sprites down there, although what they were doing was beyond him. Apparently the Commander hadn't been as accepting of his story as he thought.

The Commander himself was still stood behind the centaur as he worked, and was the reason for him watching the monitors so intently in the first place.

"See anything?" He asked tersely.

"A lot of sprites, far more than necessary for a routine sweep."

"Are you critising my leadership, Foaly?"

"Wouldn't dream of it, sir."

Actually, Foaly wasn't sure. _Was_ it a routine sweep? The Commander's presence certainly suggested otherwise, but it was well known throughout Police Plaza that the Commander had a soft spot for the female elf in question. He hadn't been the same during the three years she was missing.

"When did you say she'd be back?"

The centaur scratched his chin. When _had_ he said she'd be back?

Luckily, he was spared the problem of answering by commotion in the sprites. Something was appearing in the middle of the access tunnel. Something very large and very blue.

"Lieutenant Kelp," the Commander barked into the shuttle ports PA microphone. "What's going on down there?"

"Haven't the foggiest." The Commander opened his mouth to issue a reprimand about official address, when the strange blue light cleared up, revealing three of the demon-creatures that had appeared a few days ago, that damn Mud Boy that seemed to be attached to Holly like a bad smell, and...

He watched as Artemis bent down, wobbling slightly, to examine a strange lump on the floor. He prodded it with an outstretched finger, and the lump did nothing. He lifted a slim arm, and let it drop back to the floor. There was no resistance.

Without knowing what he was doing, the Commander tore open the door to the Controls' booth, storming across the dust to where Artemis was still examining what he had a nasty feeling was Holly. The boy looked up as he approached, and smiled politely at him. A smile that turned to an 'o' of surprise when the Commander hit him across the head with the butt of his handgun.

He fell flat on his face - a most undignified position for a Fowl - but the Commander didn't care. If he'd hurt Holly - if she was...

He knelt down next to her, easily cradling her head in a relatively large palm. He was about to call for a medical warlock when he noticed something. He stared in disbelief at her for a moment, and then breathed

"D'Arvit."

* * *

Well chaps and chaplettes, we're coming to the beginning of the end! Our heroes have returned, so we'll see what sort of world they've created next chapter.

Reviewers get their favourite Artemis Fowl character to have an adventure with. Outside the house is optional ;)  
What? Who said bribery?


	7. Your Stupid Plan

A Root and Growl

**Summary: **Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note: **Well, here we have it, the penultimate chapter (if they can really be classed as long enough to be called chapters). Enjoy!

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Holly was floating. It was a bizarre experience. She could feel everything in a state of hypersensitivity, but at the same time, nothing seemed real. She tried to look at her fingers, to reassure herself they were still there, but couldn't move her eyes.

_Or_, she thought, _perhaps my eyes aren't there anymore._

An odd, soft light filled wherever she was, which confused her even more as she could see the change in her surroundings.

"_Holly..." _

The voice was far away, a distant whisper.

"Holly."

That was closer. She jumped, or would have done had she had a corporeal body.

"Holly!"

Commander Kelp shook the thin elf's shoulders. He didn't expect it to work that well, but it was all he could think of doing. The medical warlock had healed her injuries, snapping her back from the brink of death, but she wasn't waking up.

"Holly! Can you hear me?" His voice was tinged with panic, and at any other time, the surrounding sprites would have teased him for it, but not now.

Slowly, agonisingly slowly, her eyes flickered open. The familiar brown one and that still strange blue one met his. "Trouble?"

It was barely more than a whisper, but it was proof she was alive. He hugged her with no small amount of emotion, but she just sat there.

He pulled back. "What's wrong?"

Her face was streaked with tears, running a clear path down her dusty cheeks. "It didn't work."

Artemis sat up, rubbing the strange, oblong shaped bruise on his forehead. A strange, bulky elf had come and whacked him over the head with his gun. That, on top of the empty feeling that followed the time-travel, and a burning feeling on his upper right arm left Artemis dangerously close to an unwarranted display of emotion.

He blinked a few times, to clear the tears he pretended weren't there, and looked around. They appeared to be in the right time, but as Foaly had proven the last time they'd made a return journey through time, the fairies were very efficient at setting up operations.

He saw the large elf had taken his position beside Holly, patting her awkwardly on the back as she...was she crying?

Deciding that trying to comfort Holly was worth another potential assault, he crawled forward.

"Holly?"

She looked up, her eyes red and squinty.

"It didn't work, Artemis. Your stupid plan didn't work!"

He looked slightly shocked, possibly at the thought of his plan being labelled 'stupid'. Holly went back to clinging onto the elf's shoulders, and Artemis, trying to avoid looking at his friend's distraught face, continued looking around the access tunnel.

"Fowl!"

The voice caught his attention. Foaly was half-cantering to the boy, looking the same as he always did.

"There's no point making me feel guilty. Holly's already single-handedly managed that."

The centaur looked confused. There were so many things wrong with the scene in front of him, he didn't know where to begin.

"What are you talking about, Mud Boy?"

"Our...my plan. Taking that risk. It would have worked, were the Commander not so bloody-minded!"

There was definitely something wrong with the boy.

"Trouble? He's a bit gung-ho, certainly, but..."

Artemis almost growled in frustration. It was bad enough that he'd managed to re-ignite Holly's grief, but now Foaly was teasing him. He thought attempting to save Root would have been important enough for the centaur to drop his annoyingly flippant act.

"Not Trouble! Commander _Root_. I devised a plan to save him from Opal Koboi's vengeful rampage, and it failed! I thought you would have cared about that!"

_That must have been some whack Trouble gave him_, Foaly thought.

"You were trying to save Root?"

"YES!"

"Root's never needed saving, Artemis. Opal's revenge was a rather spectacular failure, and with the exception of irreversible damage to some of my prototype suits, completely ineffective."

Artemis was silent for a moment.

"So...where is he - Root - now?"

"With the Council, as usual."

"What?"

"He was promoted to the Council over three years ago. One of the youngest ever members."

The information took several seconds to permeate Artemis's brain. Julius Root was alive. His plan had worked. It had obviously have severe repercussions - Foaly couldn't remember any of the plan, because of course, Root had been saved three and a half years ago and therefore there had never been any call for a plan in the first place, and nor for them to go back in time, but they had...

He stopped the train of thoughts. He knew it wouldn't take him anywhere productive, especially when there was the matter of the still-crying police officer a few feet away from him.

"Holly, Holly!"

She looked up from Trouble's shoulders again, hiccoughing slightly.

"What?"

"It's Root! He's alive! He was promoted to a Council member a few years ago, so that's why he's not here."

He watched her face as it went from complete confusion, to comprehension, to tentative belief. Trouble watched it, too, but his face remained at the first stage.

"Of course he was. Holly, you knew that, you were at the ceremony. Surely you remember that? You spilt beetle juice on your dress and then...well, you can't forget that evening."

She looked completely nonplussed.

"What've you done to her, Fowl?"

But Artemis was saved the trouble of explaining by a loud clanking sound on the other side of the tunnel. The giant blast doors were sliding open, having been manually closed by the techies to create a makeshift quarantine zone. A small figure was striding towards them, flanked by two even smaller figures, jogging to keep up with the one in front.

"Commander Kelp!" The front figure barked.

Trouble, his training taking over, dropped Holly and leapt up into a salute.

"What in the name of Frond is the entire Police force and their wives doing in a deserted shuttle port on the busiest night of the week?"

The Commander bit his lip, looking for an answer that wouldn't point to his more than professional attachment to the female elf currently on the floor, but was saved the embarrassment when Root caught sight of Artemis.

"I might have known you had something to do with it, Fowl. Been missing bothering the People for those three years and thought you'd make up for it now?" He looked fit to burst.

No.1. moaned, brought back to consciousness by Root's raised voice.

"What's going on?"

Root, wrong-footed slightly by the demon warlock's return to consciousness, stopped talking. He then turned to look at No.1. and seemed to deflate slightly. Artemis watched as he looked from him to the warlocks on the floor, and to Holly, still on the floor, taking off her helmet and rubbing a sore spot on her head, messing up her too-long hair.

Slowly, agonisingly slowly, the pieces fell into place.

He turned to Artemis.

"This was your plan, wasn't it?"

The boy smiled, almost embarrassedly.

"So you saved me. From three years ago?"

A nod this time.

"But...I'm here now...so I've never needed saving...unless..."

Artemis sighed. "Don't try to figure it out. I can't."

He had intended for a more biting remark to follow about Root's brain capacity, but didn't have the energy. All he wanted to do now was go home, to his family and Butler, and attempt to teach his brother the concept of three dimensional shapes.

Holly, however, was on her feet, all grief forgotten in the reappearance of her old Commander. She was circling him like a vulture, apparently trying to reassure herself that he wouldn't vanish in an instant.

Root himself was watching her with apprehension. "Major Short, what -?"

He was interrupted when Holly launched herself at him, her arms wrapping around his back in a tight hug. The entire police squadron fell silent at the strange sight in front of them. The pretty major, subject of several of their lewd fantasies, had her head buried in the red-faced Council member's shoulder.

They weren't the only ones who were confused. Root's eyes widened and his mouth opened to issue a reprimand, but something stopped him. After a moment, he awkwardly patted her back. They stayed like that, seconds lengthening, the ones surrounding them tactfully pretending not to hear the hitching breath from the ex-Commander's shoulder, until eventually Root gripped her upper arms and pulled her away.

Seeing his face seemed to stiffen some sort of resolve in the elf, and she smiled at her very much alive Commander before turning to Artemis. As she drew back her fist, he flinched away, some basic instinct usually correctly connecting Holly's arm with pain, but this time she knocked him playfully, gently on the jaw.

"You did good, Fowl."

His brain raced through many arrogant and sarcastic phrases, but before it settled on one, his mouth replied, "thank you. Looks like it wasn't such a stupid plan after all."

Holly shot him an obviously fake smile. "Oh, it was still stupid," she loved to dent the boy's overly-large ego. "Now it was just stupid and lucky."

It wasn't a long, emotional or particularly stimulating conversation, but somehow they understood one another. All was well.

Almost.

"Sorry to interrupt the gooey-eyed staring," Foaly said, not sounding sorry at all, "but we're going to have to clear out sharpish. If Artemis gets spotted by the press, all hell is going to break loose.  
"We have the shuttle ready and waiting for you, and I daresay there's someone in a quaint little Parisian café getting bored of being too big for the chairs."

Artemis rolled his eyes at the centaur's flippant phrases, but couldn't deny the smile that was bubbling up from the idea of going home without another scheme in mind to take him away again.

"One day, we'll just hang out. I promise." Holly said, smirking.

The boy made a rather undignified noise, somewhat like a rusty huff of disbelief, and after a brief hug from Holly (Trouble twitched forward, but stopped at the look on his superior's face), set off down the access tunnel. If he could ever get the dust out of his suit, the excursion would have been, rather rarely, complete success.

Except there was still the matter of the burning pain in his upper arm.

**E37 Shuttle port, departure lounge**

Holly watched Artemis go, a swell of gratitude in her chest. Four years ago, she would never have imagined that Artemis Fowl, kidnapping scumbag extraordinaire, would do something so selfless, so risky, for her. She felt Trouble's arm around her shoulder, steering her out of the access tunnel, and became incredibly aware of just how tired she was. Her entire body ached from the aftermath of the shocks, and she felt as though she had been put through one of those pressers Mud People used to flatten clothes.

The warlocks had been led away by the police officers while Holly and Artemis said their goodbye. Apparently scared of the little demons, they had wanted them away from the scene and subsequent investigation as soon as possible.

Root walked a little in front of Holly and Trouble, shooting the occasional reproving glare, but thankfully said nothing. The idea of meeting his mortality in the tunnel still fresh in his mind.

As the trio cleared the blast doors, Lieutenant Kelp came half-running towards them.

"Trouble! Trub!"

The Commander rolled his eyes, making a mental note never to allow his brother on field missions with him again.

"Yes _Lieutenant_?" He said, stressing the title in an attempt to make his brother remember protocol.

"Message from the Plaza. They've got him." He paused, apparently thinking. "Sir."

The elder Kelp had to pause for several seconds to keep from punching the air in triumph. This was rapidly becoming one of the best days of his life.

"Excellent Lieutenant. Keep him in the holding cell until we arrive. I daresay the Major here will want a word with him."

Grub scurried away to relay the orders. Holly, who had been daydreaming longingly of her apartment, with its slime pool and soft bed, jerked back to reality at a mention of her.

"With who?"

Trouble stared at her. "Mulch Diggums. You've been after him almost obsessively after Root's Council induction ceremony. Remember?"

Holly's insides did a funny sort of somersault. "Oh...yes."

The Commander seemed satisfied with her rather lacklustre response, and strode away to one of the official vehicles on the far side of the port. Holly increased her pace to walk with Root.

"You don't remember a thing, do you?"

He said it as though he could just have been commenting on the weather, but there was a knowing glint in his eye.

"Hmm?"

"You're from the future where I'm dead -," he said this so matter-of-factly Holly looked up, alarmed, "-it doesn't matter. But you're going to need all the help you can get. A lot has happened to you in the last three years, Major Short."

"You're telling me, Chairman Root." She said glumly.

"Well, I could, if you like." He seemed quite embarrassed, perhaps afraid that she would tell everyone that the notoriously caustic Root was offering her help without her asking.

"If you wouldn't mind. Could you start by telling me about your Council induction ceremony?"

To her immense surprise, Root blushed. Not only did she think it was physically impossible for the red-faced elf, but it also seemed completely incongruous with his personality. The story must be good.

"I suppose it is a rather important part of your history..."

She nodded eagerly, and the Commander sighed, apparently resigned to his fate.

"Well, it was a few months after Opal's attempted coup..."

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Aww, a blushing Root. Reviewers get their very own embarrassed, red-faced Commander to tell them a humiliating story of their own. Cheesy amnesia romance mix-ups optional :)

Just the epilogue to go now! Don't despair, however (or cheer. That'd upset me, too), as I do have several plans for...not exactly sequals, but...well, you shall see.


	8. The End of the Beginning

A Root and Growl

**Summary:** Artemis and his diminutive friends have returned from Hybras, to find they've lost three years. Three years that everybody else seems to have been living at an exaggerated rate. And of course, just when life starts to right itself after the sudden reappearance of everybody's favourite double act, Artemis gets an idea. But don't worry, he's only going to hide it from his closest Elfin friend.

**Author's Note: **Hey there! Remember me? (What do you mean, no?) Well. It's the final installment of A Root and Growl, and quite oddly, the reason I wrote it in the first place (You'll see why it's odd once you've read it). But you don't want to listen to me prattle, do you? For the final time, it's on with the show!

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**E37 Haven Side Shuttle Port**

Artemis was having a hard time keeping up with Foaly. Physically, anyway. Mentally, he was miles ahead.

"So you took the three demon warlocks - the only three demon warlocks in existence - and one of the most decorated officers in the LEP on a joyride to three years ago, just to save Root?"

The boy nodded, head drooping dangerously.

"Just imagine what sort of rescue operation you'd launch to save me!"

"I'd love to, Foaly, but I think the LEP might spend a little too much on the celebratory party following your death for me to do anything worthwhile."

Foaly pulled his lips back from his teeth in a snarl, but there was no menace in it.

"Watch it, Mud Boy. I still get to pilot you back up the chute, and I might be a little..._adventurous_ with my flying."

Something must have flickered across Artemis's face: a hint of uneasiness, or some other emotion, usually suppressed but brought to the surface in the face of his drained energy. Whatever it was, Foaly clipped him playfully on the shoulder and said in what he must have thought was a rousing sort of voice, "don't worry, Fowl. I'll give you a free pass this time. Not everybody saves an LEP Commander, you know."

Artemis winced much more than he should have done at the knock to his shoulder, but continued, doggedly, towards the egg-shaped shuttle waiting in the dock for him. The centaur sighed. What was it about humans and pain?

**Ambassador's Shuttle, Halfway up E37**

The first half-hour in the shuttle passed in a blur of exhaustion and post-flare rattles. Artemis came to after a particularly large eddy of air knocked his right arm and sent a bolt of pain ricocheting through his shoulder.

_Enough's enough. _Artemis decided, inwardly marvelling that he had finally reached a level of tiredness that surpassed his grasp on vocabulary. He rolled the sleeve of his dirt-encrusted shirt up, past his elbow and over halfway up his upper arm.

"D'Arvit."

Foaly, who had, uncharacteristally, remained silent to let Artemis rest a little, crackled over the intercom, cocky as ever. "Taking our swearwords now, Fowl? Is nothing sacred?"

Artemis hastily rolled down his sleeve. "Sorry, Foaly. My Mother doesn't tolerate...standard...swearwords in the manor. I have had to...borrow some."

"How many criminal geniuses are still scared of their mothers?"

The boy grinned. "Any who know what's good for them."

"Yeah yeah yeah. Now, are you going to tell me what made you swear like an Atlantean Sub-pilot near a giant squid?"

"Hmm...," the boy flicked his arm out in an unnecessarily showy manner, "I suppose I could, although you may accuse me of stealing again."

Foaly rolled his eyes. "Okay, I'm sorry. Now will you tell me?"

Artemis rolled up his sleeve once again, pulling it over the affected area of skin with the same teasing slowness of an artist unveiling his latest masterpiece.

"Cool ta..." Foaly trailed off. "That's not a tattoo, is it?"

The Irish boy stroked the raised bumps of skin on his upper arm curiously. They were still warm, and glowing slightly from the residual magic. "I think they're from No.1's chest. It'll be interesting to see if they have any effects other than the superficial."

"Call it what you will, Mud Boy," the centaur drawled, slowly terminating the computer link. "I think your mother's going to flip."

The rest of the journey was, to Artemis's immense relief, taken in silence. He decided it would be safer to test out his potential new magic abilities later, out of the watching eyes of the centaur.

The door slid open, bringing the odd smell of sulphur-laced tunnel air flooding in to the egg-shaped pod. Artemis stepped out, legs suddenly shaky as the exertion his body had been put through, both physically and emotionally, finally caught up with him.

He managed to navigate through the still rather desolate shuttle port without major incident, although the ever-present feeling of Foaly watching him on the CCTV cameras nestled in the shadows did not help his already flagging concentration.

Finally, in an attempt to break the unnerved feeling creeping up his spine in the silence, he spoke to the air, loud enough to ensure it was picked up on the centaur's microphones.

"So, how're things with Caballine?"

Artemis could almost hear the centaur's embarrassed shuffling. A horrible thought struck the boy. What if something he did in the past affected Foaly's one shot at a healthy relationship?

"Well...ever since Epona was born -,"

Though the Irish teenager knew that some sort of inner secret was about to be shared with him, he had to interrupt.

"You're a father?"

"Yes...to a weanling. Artemis, you were there at her presentation ceremony! You said she'd better have Caballine's looks otherwise there was no hope for her."

Artemis smiled. Foaly was a father. More than that, he himself had been invited to his daughter's presentation ceremony.

Foaly's voice crackled back over the speakers. "From where you came from...your future...I don't have kids?"

"I don't even think you got married." He said, as gently as he could.

"Huh."

There seemed to be no inflection in that noise. Artemis debated some rousing words about leaving the past where it belonged, but decided that no matter what his mental state, a speech peppered with clichés would be a low he was not prepared to sink to. Instead he said, "I think you would make an excellent father. Embarrassing, though."

Foaly laughed. "The light's green, Fowl. I think you'd better leave before Butler begins to smash the pillar of a rather important French bridge."

They had reached the door without knowing it. Artemis felt an unfamiliar tickling of apprehension in his gut. He had not expected people's lives to change as much as they had from the time he had returned to from Hybras. What if he went home expecting to see his twin brothers drawing on the 18th century wallpaper, and found his parents had gotten divorced? What if Butler had gotten married, too?

"Artemis?"

"All right, Foaly. Wish me luck."

The centaur snorted. Ah well. Some things never change.

The Irish boy stepped through the arch into the underbelly of the Parisian nighttime. As the door closed with a pneumatic hiss, and Foaly terminated the topside link, Artemis could swear he heard a mumbled 'thank you'.

**Barbé au Papa Café, Paris, 10 p.m.**

Butler was cold.

He was never usually cold. His sheer bulk meant that he was naturally normally warmer than most other people, but tonight, he could barely suppress the chatter in his teeth. Worse still, he noticed several Parisian teenagers walking past on their way to various clubs, wearing little more than bandages around their more indecent parts. _Old man, _he thought, hand unconsciously straying to the Kevlar strands in his chest, _soon I'll be complaining about the rate of taxes and how young people don't know the meaning of work._

However, despite the cold in his chest, not aided by the cold _café au lait _served to him almost an hour ago, he was determined to sit in that exact spot for as long as it took for Master Artemis to rematerialise.

As far as that plan went, it didn't take the boy long to turn up. Butler had to marvel at the fairy technology. If he hadn't known specifically where to look, Artemis would had seemingly appeared out of thin air, a few feet from the land-based pillar underneath the French bridge.

The manservant stood up, throwing an inexact number of euros onto the al fresco table. Incidentally, it was more money than the apathetic French girl who served him would see in a year, but Butler was concentrating solely on the protection of his young Master.

Artemis reappeared to a particularly dark section under the bridge. A shiver of what the boy would rather reluctantly describe as fear passed over his chest at the thought of being alone under the archway, when a deep, familiar voice said;

"You're late."

Had he been prone to slouching, Artemis would have sagged his shoulders in relief. He made a mental note never to let himself get in such a state of sleep-depravation again.

"I am not late, old friend. Merely rescheduling the meeting time."

"By nearly two days?"

Two days? Perhaps not as precise as he originally thought. However, in the grand scheme of things, Artemis mused, two days would not really amount to much compared to missing three years.

The only problem now, was whether it was the same three years he had missed.

"My apologies. I trust you have kept yourself entertained?"

Butler smiled. "Of course."

"Good. Now, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to return home. As soon as possible."

**Fowl Manor, Ireland, 12:30 a.m.**

The Manor was dark when Butler steered the Bentley up the driveway. Their flight back to Dublin had been uneventful, and Artemis had spent most of it in a meditative state, preferring to wait until he could rest undisturbed rather than snatch a few half-hours that would actually make him more exhausted.

He stepped through the double doors to the manor, Butler holding them open for his charge. He debated checking his father's study - the Senior Fowl used to stay up until dawn working on his business enterprises - but abandoned that idea when he remembered his father was a changed man. Sure enough, as he walked past his parents' room on the first floor, he could hear the unmistakeable sound of his father's light snores.

He smiled. _Home at last_.

Artemis had intended to collapse into his bed and not resurface until at least a day later, but when he reached the door to his room - it was only now that he appreciated his parents' love for him, to keep it unchanged despite the all-too-real possibility that he might never have returned - he heard a whimper from the nursery.

Slowly, he turned the doorknob to his brothers' room, aware that his appearance, unfamiliar as it was, could disturb them even more and wake his parents. His appearance had the desired effect of stopping their cries. _Well, that was easy..._

He made to close the door again, thinking fondly of his Egyptian cotton sheets, only to be interrupted by a resurgent, moaning cry.

_Now what?_

Butler was performing a rather perfunctory sweep of the Manor. In truth, after Master Artemis disappeared from the world for three years, Fowl Manor became a normal, albeit impressive, family home. There were no unexpected drop-ins from hired mercenaries, and only one attempt by Interpol to bug the Manor, but Artemis Fowl Junior had a way of attracting trouble, even when all he tried to do was rearrange history to save a subterranean elf who wasn't supposed to exist.

Having completed the sweep of the ground floor, Butler moved to check the vacant rooms of the first floor, but was met with a rather odd sight coming from the twins' nursery. A soft, pulsing blue light was being thrown into the otherwise pitch-black hallway. Butler frowned, stalking closer to the room, one hand straying to the bulge in his jacket that held his Sig Sauer.

He reached the doorway, and dropped the hand to his side. Artemis was stood in the middle of the room, between the two cots that held his brothers, hands moving in expansive gestures to manipulate the shooting blue sparks that were forming a variety of childhood constants: a rabbit, hopping above their heads, a pirate ship, tossing and diving through imaginary waves, railway trains, belching small blue sparks in a facsimile of steam. The toddlers were enraptured by the display, mouths open in awe, completely silent. Then, as Artemis began to downplay the intensity to a few sparks imitating the night sky, they dropped their heads and fell asleep.

He surveyed the results of his handiwork carefully, even tucking in Miles - or Beckett, Butler could never quite tell them apart - as his blanket was around his ankles. Butler smiled. It was odd to think that three years ago (In terms of the boy in question's age), the boy in front of him had kidnapped and held to ransom the elf who Artemis would later risk everything for. A criminal genius, tucking his baby brother in to ward away the bitter Irish cold.

"Is something the matter, old friend?"

Butler looked up to find the boy's eyes, though lined with tiredness, more alive than he had ever seen them.

"No, Artemis. Nothing's the matter."

Artemis smiled; a genuine smile for once, not his vampiric grin best reserved for crooked businessmen and condescending waiters. "Good. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get to bed before the next hare-brained scheme comes along."

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Aww, nothing quite like a bit of brotherly love to finish off on, hey?  
I've actually cut the bit where I explained why Holly got pulled along for the ride. There were a few hints in previous chapters, but for those of you still wondering, it's to do with the whole eye-thing. Time travel's tricky like that, it has to get all the parts of the person travelling forwards or backwards to work. Holly had one of Artemis's eyes, so therefore got sucked along.

If you've got any more questions that I've forgotten to answer, don't be afraid to ask me! I don't bite...much.

_Oh, one more thing. If you enjoyed this story, there's a kind-of sequel called_ The Private Wound._ You'll find it on my profile. It's a kind-of sequel because it isn't chronologically set after this story, but it's only possible with the events of this story, so they're linked. :)_

Reviewers get a quite frankly adorable sleepy Artemis to play with!


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